The Story of our Scars

Please post a story about a scar you have on your body. Our first class is January 10, so post something before that date. Enjoy your holiday and stay safe. Please edit your story at the Writeboard links I provide to you. The password is writing12

Brad's story: The Scar on My Pinky (at Writeboard.com for editing)
Suzanne's story: Scar on My Index Finger (at Writeboard.com)
Hongxin's story: The Scar: The Remains of the Past (at Writeboard.com)
Kamila's story: A Child and a Motorcycle Mean Trouble (at Writeboard.com)
Zarghoona's story: The Scar of My Hand (at Writeboard.com)

Remember to write every day at least a little to stay in practice.

Revisions for An Important Memory

Please post your revised work here. Remember to make constructive comments to student work before next week's class. Use the "Criterion-Based Questions" as a guide for making good comments. Thanks!

NOTE: I made my comments to the pieces at the post below for Masaru, Hongxin, Emilia and Suzanne.

NEW: 50 Writing Tools
Excellent short explanations to help you improve your writing style. The first 30 or so include a "podcast" so you can listen to an explanation as well. Try applying one or two to your current work on memory.

Writing an Important Memory (Event) in Our Lives

Please post your memory writing here by Tuesday night. Remember to make comments on this writing by Wednesday night.

No set length. Remember to show us rather than tell us!

Character Trait Descriptive Writing Exercise

Following the two examples, "The Thief" and "Paula," write your own examples to demonstrate the two traits: easygoing and selfish.

Maximum word count per example is 75 words. Minimum number of paragraphs is three. Use dialogue at least once. Remember to write using verbs and nouns. Try not to use adjectives or adverbs unless necessary. Use at least one kind of zeugma.

DUE on Tuesday night!

Comments to other students' writing should be done by Wednesday night.

Pet Peeves

Put your writing here for Pet Peeves exercise.

A Simile a Day Keeps the Doctor Away!

Post your simile example here according to the schedule made in today's class.

You are also required to comment on one (or more) other student examples during the week. Does the simile help make the idea understandable? Is it fresh and interesting?

Links to Writeboard for Student "Showing" Examples

Zarghoona's Showing Examples

Hongxin Guo's Showing Example

Suzanne's Showing Example

Emilia's Showing Example

Links to Editing Student Descriptive Essays

Mushroom Necklaces

Cleaning the Well

Neptune Festival

Special Summer Ritual

Post Your Warm Ups

First one: FEAR

Second one: BOREDOM

"Jack" Stories for Editing at "Writeboard"

Here are the stories so far. Please edit one or two before coming to class on the 8th of November. Make a comment to tell us what you've done and why! Also, remember to do your introductions (see post below, "Introducing the Student Essays")

Brad's Story: "Jack"

Suzanne's Story: "Matter of Age and Marriage"

Hongxin's Story: "Jack"

Masaru's Story: "A Halloween Night (Chapter One)"

Short Story: Same Story in Different Voices

Post your story here. Remember that you can submit a part of a story. For example, write the ending or write a scene (a single incident). Anything you do will help you with the story overall.
View Short Stories: 10 Tips for Novice Writers for more information.

The "rules" are as follows.

Name of protagonist: Jack, a charming, ambitious, smart and selfish 26 year old.

Kind of conflict: external conflicts (with social environment, with other people etc.) Jack wants to marry a rich woman.

Why does he she want that? It's the easiest route to success.

What does he or she need to do? To find that woman somehow and seduce (attract; not have sex unless you are really daring!) her.

What are the obstacles (name 3): He comes from a poor family. He doesn't have enough good clothes. No car.

Setting: From a poor eastside Vancouver neighbourhood. (east of Main Street). Near Boundary.

Ending:

Does the protagonist succeed. How? or Why not? In a way he succeeds, but finds that it is not a perfect situation. The ideal woman is 20 years older than he is.

Introducing the Student Essays

For the four essays chosen in today's class, write a short introduction (50 to 75 words) that would help to interest a reader in devoting the time to reading the full essay. You should write at least one, but can write more than one if you wish. Write on your favourite, of course.

A New Way to Collaborate!

I've found a unique and interesting way for us to make edits to student work online. I've put students' writing up to demonstrate today. In order to access editing the document, you'll need the password, writing12.

Assignment: Go in and try an edit on one or two pieces below. Try to be helpful, but don't take too much time. We'll practice more throughout the term.

Here's Masaru's "A Daffodils and a Douglas Fir"

Here's Hongxin's "The Freds"

Here's Emilia's "10 Words"

Max's "10 Favourite Words Paragraph"

Suzanne's "Pursuing Fortune"

Tina's "Business and Happiness"

"Short Story Basics" Worksheet

Put your story outline as a comment to this post. Bring your ideas to class on October 25 to begin working on writing a full length short story.

Your "Favourite Ten Words" Writing Exercise

Please post the results of your writing exercise as a comment to this post. For Masaru (and Lina) here is the final list. There is no word limit. The only rule is to use all the words in your writing and for it to make some kind of sense!

Douglas Fir
Daffodils
Sunset
Pacific Ocean
Chocolate
Smile
15 Million Dollars
Green
Hawaii
Motorcycle

Link to "Learning the Edits" Information on an Editor's Changes

In 2000, I had a piece published in The Globe and Mail on the life of a dear friend whose life was cut short by cancer. The piece was extensively edited before it was published. As a favour, the editor agreed to answer ten questions about her editing decisions. Read about it here.

Vote for Your Favourite 10 Concrete Words

Vote for 10 in a comment to this post. Next week, we'll use some of these words in a piece of writing.

Sunset, Pacific Ocean, Douglas Fir

Turkey, Cook, BBQ Sauce

Daffodils, chocolate, green

The Big Idea, Mont Blanc fountain pen, parchment

Spaghetti, motorcycle, pin-striped suit

U.S Open, Hawaii, Fred

15 million dollars, health, smile

Electricity, clams, soccer

Homework for October 11 Class

First, repost your writing from October 4 with a 20% cut. After your paragraph, explain why you made one of your biggest cuts (be specific about the words you took out). Why is the sentence (or sentences) better now?

Second, take one of the original sentences from another student's writing and suggest a cut. You might even suggest a cut to the revised version if you dare! Don't be afraid to make a suggestion on Brad's piece. I'm pretty wordy in my first drafts.

Setting Assignment for October 4 Class

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the delay! I was feeling a bit "under the weather" due to a head cold this weekend.

Take your character and describe a setting as seen by that person. For example, how does a girl like the one Guo is writing see the world around her? You may write in the third person (he or she . . .) as it is easier.

Give at least two details that appeal to the senses (something we see and something we hear for example). Make the place very specific (one location will help you with your description). The details should reflect the personality of the character (a place he or she would like to go).

Write about 125 to 150 words.

Enjoy the rain, rain, rain . . .

Homework for September 27 (On Character)

Take the character you wrote about in today's class and write from the point of view of that character. In other words, use "I" to describe how the world looks from inside that person.

To make it easier, describe a "moment" in the life of that person (a single incident happening at one specific time, for example). What does he or she think about? What matters to him or her? What doesn't matter? How does his or her mind work?

No set number of words. Put your finished work as a comment to this post. See you next week!

Writing Activity for Thursday September 20 Class

Good evening writers!

As I walked my dog tonight I saw a man driving by. He drove a grey Chevy Malibu and wore a green-striped polo shirt. Oh yes, he also sported a pair of wrap around sunglasses. His front-wheel drive car had a spoiler the trunk.

What kind of guy was he, I wondered. How might his car, his clothing style, his sunglasses (and yes, his black hair worn a bit long, swept back and held in place with some kind of pommade) give us a sense of his character?

For practice, write a character sketch. Keep it under 100 words. Try to show (but without telling) the kind of person someone is through the externals: dress, actions, grooming . . .

Have fun! Type your writing into the "comments" link at the bottom of this message. Remember to log in first.

Welcome New Students

This is your blog. It provides a fun and interesting way for us to meet the Ministry of Education requirement that we "employ a variety of effective processes and strategies, including the use of electronic technology, to generate, gather, and organize information and ideas."

This year's Writing 12 class will participate in an exercise on descriptive writing done by the English 11 and 12 classes and will publish a few of the best student essays at their online newspaper, The Pearson Buzz.

Stacey's Graduation Speech Published at Buzz; Grad Photos

Enjoying the sun? Me, I've got my windows covered and closed!

Stacey's speech is up at The Buzz. Still waiting on L, for his photos of the graduation. I'd like to use Stacey's pic to go with the speech and to, if it's ok, to feature as grad on our PALC.net home page. Would anyone else allow a grad photo to be used?

I took only four pictures, but they're not too bad. Save a copy for yourself from below. If anyone doesn't want photo linked here let me know. Mostly only we visit here I think.

Graduates seated

Masaru getting his marks

The potluck table

The potluck table with Ann and Cheryl close up

The Graduation on June 21st: Our Thoughts

I've started the thread. Anyone else want to comment or give their view of the proceedings?

New Articles Up at The Buzz

Start at home.

Stacey's Graduation Speech

Here's an edit of Stacey's current draft. I think it's pretty well ready to go! For more information: Public Speaking Website

Stuff About Writing 12: Your Answers to My Questions

Much appreciated any comments you feel would help convince students to give Writing 12 a try in the 2007-2008 school year.

Buzz Articles (New Articles Welcome!)

So far: Olivia's Dentist Rant; Helena's Taoist Monk travel journal; Rosaria's recipe for pancakes (due to tomorrow's rainy forecast!); Catherine's Is a Flood Coming?

Buzz Articles Published May 27

Michelle's "Learning from Mice" and Hiromi's "Young Man Who Went the Distance" and Ritsuko's "Active Teacher Helen" and James' "A Philosophy of Romance."

The "Natalia" New Piece Post

Post them here! Thanks Natalia for your suggestion. Suzanne: we're eagerly anticipating your ghost story at the elementary school!

Here's the file of pieces we looked at in class today.

An interesting (fairly long) piece called On Good Writing

Portfolio Pieces for Feedback

Take advantage of the class session by submitting one piece (something you hope to work on) for our evaluation at Thursday's class. Limit of one per person! Anything from anytime this past year . . .

Buzz Articles Published This Week (So Far!)

To assist you in preparing your portfolio: On Editing.

Also pieces by Natalia on summer music festivals, by Ruth on the Hollywood Bowl concerts, by Stacey on dealing with separation, and by Suzanne on the forbidden palace.

Assembling Your Portfolio REVISED May 16

Locate all the writing you've done since September 2007. *By this I imagine that some of it needs a bit of searching to find; perhaps it's on the blog only; perhaps you've not shared it or shown it to anyone before.

Categorize what you find: is it a first draft?; is it worth working on?; is it phony or forced in any way?; has it been published?; is it the best that you can do?; how well do you use our five senses in the writing?(can a reader imagine the setting easily, for example, in more than one sense?) *This is for your sake. I don't expect to see or know about this step at all. You are trying to find your best in order to do the one revision below and to choose the pieces (5-10) you will present to me in your portfolio. It's up to you!

Write detailed comments for one piece that needs work and is worth the effort. Be brutally honest (If it doesn't work, readers won't buy what you are saying. You'll lose them!) Write up your comments in a short essay.

Take your own advice and rewrite the piece. Make it the best you've done all year.

Choose between five and ten pieces from the year. Word process them, using 12 point text size, double spacing and an indent for each paragraph. Title everything clearly and refer to the exercise or technique where you first began to work on the piece.

Be sure to follow correct form; for example, when inserting dialogue make a new paragraph for each new person speaking. And, of course, punctuate the dialogue correctly!

Write another short essay; in it, describe three things you've learned in Writing 12 this term and how they apply to your current and future success in writing.

Submit all the above to me by May 31. I will comment, but will not proofread (correct mistakes!) and will remark on it if your errors are frequent. A professional presentation (clean text, neatly assembled in a folder of some kind) with minor and very few errors will gain higher marks.

For that indefinable quantity called style, it's subjective. I'll do my best. Remember that I will evaluate your whole year as well in my calculations. Good attendance, participation in all its forms, will get its just reward.

Thanks to all of you for making it happen this term.

New Articles Published

So far, Ritsuko's article on Dina , Yang's on going to hell , Larry's My Son Jerry , Catherine's A New Totem Pole and Hiromi's on the passport office.

Class Document for May 10 (Put Revisions and New Articles Here)

Here's the link: May 10 Document. Looking forward to your revisions and additions. I'll publish a number of articles this weekend and will let you know when done. Be alert to any glitches (like the Letcho) and let me know about them! I'll fix them asap.

New Articles Published (Updated MAY 7)

See Pbuzz Home Page for new articles from Joy, Olivia, Tatyana, Catherine, Ritsuko and Stacey.

And Helena, too! She cannot see our blog in China (censored, I think), but has sent on a lovely article titled, "The Backyard of China," on Yunnan Province in China. And it has a nice photo of a man with his dog.

Thanks Hiromi and Stacey for your edits. I made very minor changes to both. See if you can spot them!

Class Document and Happy Birthday to Me!

Thanks very much for the cheesecake, Rosaria. And for the tea! Ritsuko, your cookies are delicious! I had a nice quiet birthday dinner and now plan a sunset walk with my little dog. The chocolates are creamy and filling and . . .

Here's the link to the document we worked on in class Thursday.

Sign Up to Edit (and Inconvenient Truths)

Stacey's edit of Tatyana's piece is a good example of editing for readability and style. This is normal in the editing process: many writers are good fact finders and excellent with a pithy quote but may not be masters of grammar (nor am I, in fact). Editors edit as much or more than was done on the "Submarine" piece.

In that spirit, as Stacey has done, please sign up to edit a piece that we plan to publish . Be sure the piece matters to you in some way. Try not to alter it so much that the original writer's voice is lost.

Here's a story that bears reading: Record High Temperatures in Europe in April at The New York Times. We've been blessed with relatively moderate weather this spring (excepting a few fierce rainstorms) but it is not hard to remember what happened last winter! Here's another, just posted today: The rich world's policy on greenhouse gas now seems clear: millions will die

Have a look around at what's in the news on climate change/global warming and share any other sources you find on the Web (here at this post). Time to practice some persuasive writing (editorial)!

See you all Thursday. BTW, I jumped the gun a bit and published Yi and Hao's pieces. Also Harjit's Hybrid Cars and Suzanne's Yoga pieces. Remember to vote asap and thanks to Ben and Natalia and Hiromi for weighing in . . .

Latest Publications etc. (New articles?)

Posted Stacey's rant on Virginia Tech (and recipe for veggies), Hiromi's piece on Strunk and White, and Rosaria's rant on show offs. Check for my edits.

The domain pbuzz.net is fully functional now. I noticed a dramatic falling off of readership over the week as our content got stale! It's back up now (I'll show you in class). We'll have lots of articles with the contributions of the English 11 and 12s, however. We should publish no more than 2/3s of them to make it clearer the effort required!

Bring your ideas for your future contributions to class or post them here. The poster is ready for printing (will show you in class) and we'll need to work out where to post and who will distribute. As for printing places, I'm happy to receive your suggestions, although I've found one online.

Links to Revised Articles for The Buzz-REVISED

Please check the links below as at least two students posted revisions this evening.

Vote by the student name (there are two Cynthias btw). No need to say why. I assume that Yi's recipe for cheesecake, the piano tuner article, the article on the Hollywood Bowl are publishable. All others are up to you!

Articles by English 12 Students (Revisions)

Articles by English 11 Students (Revisions)

Latest "Buzz" Stats

Pages viewed went from 477 for seven days previous to our last class to 1273 (250% increase) this week. I'm still working on figuring out how to get pbuzz.net to work. I'll let you know.

The "Latest" (+new edits)

I've published Ritsuko's turquoise piece, Hiromi's bank machine debacle and Rick article, Natalia's jazz cafe, Rosaria's bulgogi recipe , Catherine's The Wall and a couple or three rants (on Monday, maybe)! Larry's latest on cats.

Everyone: put your latest edits or new pieces here.

Student Article Links for The Pearson Buzz

Students have a deadline of Tuesday evening to submit their articles. Expect some to start coming in later on the weekend. Use this post to comment on their articles and discuss the potential for publication of their submissions. They have a 200-word maximum word count.

NOTE: Just a clarification. Please post your comments to student articles here rather than at the English students' blogs. Actually, I had no idea you could post to their blog (Stacey did and that was a surprise). I've moved Stacey's comment back here. The class will go over their pieces in detail on Thursday and feedback will be delivered to the English classes on Friday.

Articles from the English 12 students

Articles from the English 11 students

Articles and Edits (and etc.)

Put anything new you're working on or any new edits of pieces not yet published at this post (to avoid confusion). Hope to see another teacher article, for example! I'll look through your offerings, but articles by Natalia and Hiromi (at the bank machine) look nearly ready (I can do the "copy" edit). James's article is ready (just need a teaser) as is Ritsuko's article on hot springs. New content to start a new week. See you next Thursday (and hoping to see you, Stacey, too!)

The Advertising Poster

Thanks Natalia for offering your son's help. Hope he doesn't mind! Ideas for wording on the poster are welcome at this post.

By the way, no problem with funding the purchase of a domain name for pbuzz.net. I'll get it done over the next week or so. In time for our next big advertising push!

RANTS!

Put 'em here!

Buzz is LIVE (Updated April 3)

I sent out the email newsletter today. Also, I made prominent mention of the paper on all of our top pages at PALC.net. I'll let you know later in the week how our readership is going. Is anyone interested in designing a poster/handbill for giving out/displaying at the centre this week?

NEW: I've found that we can get the domain names, pbuzz.net or pearsonbuzz.net in order to make it easier to advertise our site (and easier for someone to type in). Which one do you prefer?

Bravo to all of you! You're published . . .

Updated Pages at The Buzz

I added information to Contact Us, School District 40 information, Resources. Also, put up Catherine's article on Sheryl's visit. Added graphics to Giving Praise and Flying After the Sun articles. Pages without content have a "content coming soon." The Features page duplicates the content on the home page for the moment.

Need a teaser for the article on Sheryl. And more articles if you're late with yours! The Romance article can come anytime! I'll wait until Sunday to send out the email newsletter to give everyone a chance to get their articles up.

Enjoy the sunshine guys . . .

Latest Assignments: Post Them Here

Here's the latest list of story assignments. Stacey can add her idea in the comments section. Harjit promises us his piece soon (saw him after class). When I send out the mass email and link up the Buzz to the PALC web site, I'll let you know in a post. Should happen on the weekend.

Hiromi: Feature on teacher “Rick”
Helena: Travel journal while travelling in China and Tibet.
Ben: Romantic story
Brad: something for the “More on Writing” page
Rosaria: recipe for marinated roast beef
Ritsuko: how to communicate and behave in a Canadian setting at a party; hot springs; turquoise
James: updated Canucks article; +something else
Olivia: a rant (it has to be something that REALLY bothers you)
Larry: more on cats or maybe pigs?
Catherine: Sheryl article; something for romance; cultural differences
Natalia: More on music

Apophasis Anyone? Put Your Rants Here!

Here's the post for your not-so-polite rant about something using the handy Greek technique called apophasis. Here's a web link for apophasis.

Buzz Updates and Tasks for Writers (Updated Mar. 26)

NEW:

1. Copy edited Catherine's "Giving Praise" piece. I think it's ready. Note how I changed paragraphing from original.
2. Copy edited Larry's piece on cats. See if you can spot my changes. I qualified in two spots (see "many" and "often" in the revision).
3. Added and copy edited Rosaria's piece on baked mussels. Note my extensive edit to the first sentence and use of the present perfect tense. By the way, my wife says, "Sounds yummy!"
4. Added and copy edited Suzanne's piece on snooker. Anyone want to write a "teaser" for Suzanne? Oh, and where are all your teasers? It helps me to set up the home page. If anyone wants to volunteer to do one for another student, feel free.
5. Copy edited Hiromi's piece on John Grisham.
6. Added and copy edited Helena's Flying After the Sun

I added content to the home page, About Us, and the Music We Like article from Natalia (so you can see how subheads look on a "real" page). Mock up of the site.

Teasers from Larry, Catherine, Stacey and Natalia are demonstrated on the home page, along with headlines. Articles are in alphabetical order btw. Writers who feel that their article is ready to be at the mockup stage should submit article revisions or say they feel it's ready at the "Articles Ready" post.

NOTE: As "copy" editor, I reserve the right to make corrections to the text. A writer's responsibility is to read the final version carefully and note any edits that were made. We can use some class time to discuss edits and the whys of my decisions.

Everyone who has done an article should write a one or two sentence "teaser" for the home page (max 20 words or so). Each teaser would act to attract a reader to click on to read your full article. Think honey and bees!

Proper Edits?

Hi Brad.

I was wondering, would it be an improper thing to do to re-word some of the student's writing? Could you outline what I can and cannot do. Possibly outline my duties? I could really use your advice. I could live without another misunderstanding. Thanks.

The "Article's Ready" Post

If you feel your article is ready for publication, post it here. Editors have to agree or give some reasons why they want revisions, including specific instructions to the writer. I elect James and Hiromi and Stacey to act as co-editors. Be sure to state your agreement as quickly as possible.

If all agree, I'll post the final version to the Buzz mockup for a look at how it'll appear online. If you have graphics in mind, send them along as an attachment to your email. Photos, too. Once enough articles are posted to the Buzz, we can decide on the "splash" date.

Revisions and Edits for The Buzz

The original post is getting a bit long, so post any final revisions etc. here for a last look. Take a look at Stacey and Hiromi's subheadings and try the same if you haven't already. Remember that for the Web, a paragraph of 50 to 75 words is long enough. Whatever you do, don't be boring as a Web reader tends to decide to move on in seconds!
NEW: Here's another good resource on writing well for the Web.

About Us: The Final Word?

You all have copies of the various "About Us" versions. Using all the contributions so far and whatever other fresh ideas you may have, post a "final" version for us to see. We may need to vote on it!

Sheryl McFarlane: Reactions etc.

Post your comments to Sheryl's visit here. If you'd like to try writing a short news article on her visit, you can also post that here. Natalia has the most notes! If you have any suggestions for Sheryl on her presentation, you might post that, too, as I'm sure she'd appreciate any feedback.

Editor Position: Clarification (March 8)

Remember that the editor assigns stories and makes final decisions on readiness for publication. The final proofreading or copy editing I can do just before the piece goes "live"! I, of course, will appreciate good clean text with little for me to do . . .

Also, it's not really necessary for everyone to do a weekly piece. A big splash will be nice. If we don't have something ready for a features page, then a short piece of text to explain what kinds of articles will appear would be helpful.

The Pearson Buzz-Updated Feb. 28

The mock up of the site is complete. Pages are ready for your content. Links are working. NEW: All pages have a graphic. Go in for a look!

A good article to help with your writing: Reading on the Web

Interesting look at how the eye moves while looking at Web pages: F-Shaped Pattern for Reading Web Content

The Pearson Buzz: Story Assignments

Post your completed stories/features here for comments and feedback. Please have all pieces ready by next Wednesday, in time for Thursday's class. James, you've been assigned an article on sports, as you suggested.

The Pearson Buzz: About Us

Post your "About Us" pieces here. Also, please do comment on what you like (or don't like) in other's submissions. From all of them, we should have the best "about us" on the web!

First Edition Content

I leave this for a record of the comments.

Epanalepsis

No, not the name of a disease. Post your clever variations here for our reading pleasure!

Name the News!

Make your suggestions here. We have so far: The Pearson Press, Writers Times, The Pearson Sunrise, Passionate Writers, Time for Sharing, Dandelion Times,Writing 12 Times,The Pearson Pear,The Pearson Peer,Pearson Peers, The Horizon, The Pearson Platform, The Pearson Reader, The Pearson Vision, The Ingle, Writers Garden, Media Centre, Pearson Magazine, Pearson Media Centre, Green Apple, Sunrise,The New West Gazette, The Pearson Tribune, Readers’ Backyards, Pearson Times, The Pearson Nation, AAA Times, Passionate Pearson Writers . . .

Sheryl Mcfarlane Confirmed: March 8

She's coming, so keep in mind what you wish her to do. I suggest she speaks, does a short practical workshop and then time for questions. Topics?

Latest Edits by Brad

Edit of first two paragraphs of "Pinnacle of Creativity" by James

Edit of first two paragraphs of "Writing Starts Before Writing" by Catherine

Edit of first three paragraphs of "How I Write" by Stacey

Edit of first three paragraphs of "From Start to Finish" by Hiromi

Online Newspaper: More Help With Ideas

Thinking of yourselves and other students you know at the ALC, what else would interest them? Ideas like Hiromi's (about a teacher, for instance) could work to help you develop interviewing skills as well. Think creatively and put your ideas in the comments here. I'll be bringing another handout (taken from Campus Weblines) To see some ideas from the Times, look at this chapter, Web Site Features: Extra! Extra!

I've taught a lesson on writing a restaurant review in the past. Since we all like to eat (and our readership does, too) it may be a place to start. See the old worksheet from Level 4 and a review of Kalamata, still my favourite Greek restaurant! BTW, be sure to check out James' essay under Why I Write: Revisions!

How I Write: Revisions

As Hiromi suggested at the end of class, most of the essays are a bit over the 300 word limit. Also, based on the class discussions today, make improvements to your prose.

The finished essay and the question

Hello, everyone.

I have a question for Brad about the SIMILE I use in this essay, "How I write." I put the question and drafts into the comment place. So, could you give me a brief answer for it? And everyone, I'd like to read yours, too.

Sheryl Mcfarlane (Children's Writer) Class Visit

Sheryl has agreed to come to our class in early March. She'd like to know what her focus should be for her presentation. She's published many picture books for children and recently published a novel for teenage readers.

View her presentations list to get ideas of what we'd like to do.

Writing 12 Student Newspaper Template

Your newspaper space is now online. The categories need to be changed to suit your ideas. Colour scheme, too, if you like. BTW, the links go to weird places. Try if you dare!

Here's where we'll publish our (and other students from the PALC) work. Stories, articles, creative writing . . . Sky's the limit guys! Oh, and the paper needs a name . . .

Writing 12 Online Newspaper

How I Write: 300-Word Essay

This time, write 300 words on how the revising/writing process works for you; in other words, “how I write,” rather than “why I write.” Post your finished essays here. Give your revision number, identify your techniques. Good luck!

Edit of Stacey's second paragraph

Brad's edited third draft

Some Student Sentences from the Revision

Comment on what you like about the sentences I've chosen and make a suggestion for a revision to at least one of the examples. Build on today's exercise!

“I would write about anything; by “anything” I mean I would write about the color of a slug, what time of day it was.”—Stacey

“It is like a digging a hole inside of me in search of an answer. I knock, dig, and examine what I have found.”—Hiromi

“I was writing scenarios for the student plays and special events, articles for the student news paper, and epigrams on my friends and professors.”—Natalia

“I enjoy creative activities: painting, craft, and cooking. However I like writing the best.”—Rosaria

“As you know, most Chinese people are introverted; they are not good at speaking out their feelings.”—Catherine

“If I would have written those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be richer than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.”—Larry

“Under the sea, I observe the creatures more thoughtfully than ever, thinking of how to write about them.”—Ritsuko

“The more I read and write, the more I feel satisfied with my life.”—Suzanne

Why I Write REVISIONS

Post the revised copy of your essay here. Read an annotated and clean version of my fourth draft. I've reduced length to 282 words, for a total saving of 40 words from the third draft and a total of 65 fewer than the second draft. That's 20% , Stephen King's recommended cut, but barely! Can you accomplish the same?

Be sure to comment after your revision on what you did to cut out the "fat" in your writing. You can send me an annotated copy of your revision if you wish to share your processes online.

Bring your new drafts on Thursday. Last class this term.

Why I Write

Post your finished essays here. I've gotten mine to third draft stage. Find the second draft in the comments section. Read an annotated version of Brad's second draft revision that includes a clean copy of the third draft at the end.

NOTE: Be sure to include your "Greek Techniques" at the end of your draft. Also, make an effort to have a spell, grammar checked, word-processed copy of your essay ready for Thursday's class. We will be doing extensive work on the essays. The more essays, the better!

For more information on the standard essay, see Jennifer's three-part series on the essay.


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