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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
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2007
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October
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- Short Story: Same Story in Different Voices
- Introducing the Student Essays
- A New Way to Collaborate!
- "Short Story Basics" Worksheet
- Your "Favourite Ten Words" Writing Exercise
- Link to "Learning the Edits" Information on an Edi...
- Vote for Your Favourite 10 Concrete Words
- Homework for October 11 Class
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October
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5 comments:
Pursuing Fortune
Many lofty Douglas Firs are located on the hill. At sunset, the colorful clouds formed some beautiful shapes of daffodils, which were as if those growing nearby reflected in the sky. The aroma from the green pasture blended with that of Douglas Firs to create a scent of chocolate.
A couple of gorillas, Fred and Grad, have enjoyed their life on the hill for a long time.
However, Fred always imagines being a millionaire. While he was swaying on a hammock, again he tried to persuade his wife Grad.
“If we move to Hawaii, we may find a gold mine,” Fred encouraged Grad.
“Nooooo, I am glad to have a good life here.” Grad replied. Then she continued, “Everything we need is here; what else do you want?”
“You women are too childish to explore the world,” Fred murmured.
“Don’t be silly, we only have a motorcycle. Can we fly it across the Pacific Ocean?” Grad teased him.
Then she found Fred smiling in his sleep. Suddenly, his hammock turned over, and his body flipped then rolled down to the bottom of the hill.
He cried out, “15 million, my 15 million dollars, it’s my money!”
After Fred was rescued, he told Grad he was chasing a robber who jumped across a big ditch.
“Well, all I want is here—the magnificent scenery, such as the charming sunset, the delicate daffodils, and the scent of chocolate. I don’t need to chase them down to the bottom of the hill.” Grad mocked.
255 words
The Freds live in the Seymour Valley, near by the Lyan valley.Seymour Valley is evergreen in seasons and full of pines and Douglas firs.Fred's garden was beautiful. In his garden, a cluster of golden daffodils were blossoming in the red tulips.
Fred was a technical worker of a company and he had no much money to support his big family.
One day, Fred came home hurriedly and shouted to his wife:"I've gotten the Grand Award-- over 15 million dollars." The whole family were over delighted for they never dreamed of so much money!
Eaten chocolate and drunk cola before the TV,they talked the plan that how to spend the money, and everyone smiled ear to ear. The whole family wanted to fly to Hawaii,for all of them were eager to enjoy the glowing sunset of the Pacific Ocean.But the little son was longing for his motorcycle!
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A Daffodils and A Douglas Fir by Masaru Tanaka
He was the tallest Douglas fir among woods on the Prospect Point of Stanley Park. One sunny afternoon in May, he was enjoying nice sea breeze and marvellous scenery. On the Lion’s Gate Bridge, many cars and motorcycles were running back and forth. Beyond the bridge, he could see Seymour Mt., Horseshoe Bay and Begbie Glacier. Over Whistler town, there was a white chocolate bar shaped cloud floating toward Georgia Strait. He was sure that by the time of sunset, the cloud would change its colour to pink colour like an autumn maple leaf.
Suddenly, he heard a faint voice calling him from dawn below. “Hello, hello, Mr. Douglas!’ He looked dawn and found a small daffodil talking to him, using her flowers as a trumpet, at the end of the green grass play grand beside the Sea side walk. “Oh hello, sweet heart, what up to you?” he responded.”You are so tall. Can you see Hawaiian Islands from there?” He had a big laugh with shaking his branches and smiled at her.”I am not that tall but I can see Vancouver Islands from here and beyond that Pacific Ocean too.””Gee, I wish I were tall like you” she said. “Why?” he asked.”I am so tiny that all I can see is the sky above or children’s running shoes playing around me. I wish I were born as a tree.””Oh don’t be silly my friend, you are such a lovely flower that everybody admire you. Every living creature has its own purpose to exist. That is the nature’s basic rule. Listen pretty flower, I have been standing here over 100 years and I can tell you what I have seen until now to you.””That will be really nice!” she was pleased and excited. During the summer, they had many conversations and became best friends each other. When the flower season came to the end, she said good night to him and went for winter sleep.
On December 15 2006, a hurricane with 115km/h ravaged Stanley Park and over 3000 trees were damaged. The worst part was the area around Prospect Point.
One sunny spring day, the daffodil woke up to find her friend’s tragedy. She cried over broken trunks of trees. She knew that you couldn’t against Mother Nature but” why he?” she lamented. Days passed by with memory of the last summer’s good time. A few months later, men with safety hats came with forklifts and tried to move her friend in vain. He was too heavy to carry out. They were talking about total damage could reach 10 to 15 million dollars. “Silly!” she thought. “It is priceless, nobody can replace history!” she screamed them but no answer came back to her. At the end of the summer, she was ready to sleep for winter. For the last time she looked the dead tree then she saw a big branch of him waving as if he was saying good bye. “Don’t worry my dear, don’t worry. I spread my seeds all over the Park before I fall dawn. I will see you again in 5 years , 10 years, or even 100years, I will see you, I will see you,,,” She didn’t know whether that voice was in her dream or in her imagination but she was sure that the branch of him had surely moved without any wind. (566 words First draft)
Outline of the short story.
Jack likes sailing. An accident makes him to a desolate and uninhabited island. He tries to find a boat or something which can help him back to land, however he fails. In despair, he bethinks of his family, his friends, and his enemies, and he has a lot of regret. Strangely, all he thinks are the bad things he did to others, cheating his wife, trapping his friend, and ignoring his parent. Considering these, he decides to end his life. This seems to be the only way for him to become free from the sin. While he is just committing suicide, a rescuer saves him. What will his life be? Can he live in the same way as before?
Business and Happiness
Fred was standing in the yard of his house. The green Douglas fir blocked him away from outside world. It was Sunday morning, his new wife Sally was sleeping in their bedroom. Fred realized that Sally did not talk too much with him recently. What’s wrong with her? Fred did travel a lot for his business lately. To Sally, maybe his business would never end. Fred sighed, money is not everything; but without money, we can’t do anything. Fred recalled his honeymoon in Hawaii last fall, where he and Sally were riding Honda Motocycle under sunset there. Sweet! Fred thought. Maybe Sally is right, if you made 15 million dollars, you would want 15 billion. Business is always business, just take it easy. Fred picked up a cigarette and smoked. “I would buy Purdy’s chocolate and some daffodils for her today.” He said to himself, “Just make her happy.” He walked in the yard and a Christmas vacation plan jumped onto his mind-a cruise through Pacific Ocean, whatever the destination is, he smiled. 173 words
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