Good evening writers!
As I walked my dog tonight I saw a man driving by. He drove a grey Chevy Malibu and wore a green-striped polo shirt. Oh yes, he also sported a pair of wrap around sunglasses. His front-wheel drive car had a spoiler the trunk.
What kind of guy was he, I wondered. How might his car, his clothing style, his sunglasses (and yes, his black hair worn a bit long, swept back and held in place with some kind of pommade) give us a sense of his character?
For practice, write a character sketch. Keep it under 100 words. Try to show (but without telling) the kind of person someone is through the externals: dress, actions, grooming . . .
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8 comments:
Brad,
I remember you taught us to describe a character just show their action, style, or speech without telling. Now you already did it. How can I describe a character without telling? Does my paragraph fit your requirement?
My paragraph is below:
Status Seeker or Social Climber?
The vehicle, dress, and apprearance seem at odds. He is a man with a champagne taste, but beer budget. His car is not a luxury vehicle, though his clothing and hair style indicate his desire to appear fashionable. His wraparound sunglasses and polo shirt show us he is a sportsman. On the other hand, his swept back long hair with pomade tells us he has an artistic flair. The man is probably a social climber.
Hi Suzanne,
You give us a good analysis of what my portrait means to show, yes, but I also want you to write a similar portrait of a character by yourself. Thanks for your analysis as it will help the other students!
Every Wednesday, I will spend a few minutes to figure out what kind of a lady she is. She has short cut hair like a 16 years old girl. Big black eyes, not so tall nose, slightly opened mouth with plump cheeks are well balanced in her face. She wears short everytime I saw even when it was rainning. Whenever I pass by her, I will catch a faint scent of perfume. Shanell? I don’t know. She drives Bentz and her golf set is expensive one that I know. Most of the ladies in our senior gold club are 70 years or older. Does she belong to our club, I wonder. She is really mysterious lady to me.—118 words; first draft by Masaru
Tina's Piece:
I had an English test at Douglas College this Tuesday afternoon. Three were only two of us: me and another lady. At 2 o’clock, a young lady stepped into the classroom with a big black wheel-on luggage. I was suddenly nervous as soon as I saw her black, high-heeled shoes and heard her paces. She was in light brown color. She was tall and curvy. She was wearing an orange-colored cardigan with sparkles along the collar. Her smoky made-up eyes were unclear to me. She always said: “You have five minutes.” Or “You have two minutes.”—96 words; first draft by Tina
Suzanne's piece:
Walking with a Friend’s Friend
One of my neighbours, Annie, introduced her friend to me. The lady, Mary, asked me for the number. Then, Mary invited me for the number. Then Mary invited me to have a walk after supper. It was cloudy and nearly turning dark. I was surprised at the moment she appeared. The wraparound sunglasses, fancy red leather showes with approximately 1 ½ high heels, laces seamed around the hem and sleeves of her blouse, the narrow skirt was as short as a miniskirt, the Audrey Hepburn’s hairstyle had golden color dyed partially. Moreover, her high volumn speech by the words she said, “I strong claim to loyal my communist pary forever.” I was shocked because she repeated it three times within the half-hour walking.—123 words; first draft by Suzanne
Max's piece:
I meet this man almost every time when I take a walk at the park near my house. He is about 70, with grey hair and deep wrinkles. He jogs around the track, and it’s slower than I walk. I’ve never seen him smile even I nod to him. Everytime, he wears the same dark coat and baseball cap no matter it is winter or summer. He always knits his brow. Nobody accompanies with him. I wonder who he is, why no family members follow him. I ask others, and they don’t know him either. He is really a weird man.—101 words; first draft by Max
Guo's piece:
I saw a strange looking girl at the skytrain station. The central part of her hair radiated up and looked like a cock’s comb. Her hair was pomaded and dyed pink and green. The left and right side of her head were shaved completely. On her face, she had many piercings: brows, eyelids, nostril and lips . Two earrings as big as sandwich plates touched her shoulders., Tattoos covered her arms, her shoulders, her legs and who knows where else. She wore a black leather mini-skirt and a pair of black boots with soles as thick as bricks. I don’t know what’s fashionable. Doesn’t she know what is best for her? It is true that she must enjoy herself very much.—Guo HongXin; 125 words second draft.
Somewhere in time
My grandgather is sitting on the verandah. He is counting the flowers which are falling down. With one arm he takes me on his knees. I'm looking in his gray eyes which are a mirror for his soul. He smells fresh and when he kiss me I feel a gentle sting on by face. Oh, God! I like his moustache. I'm leaving my head on his big chest and I'm hearing his heart beating; his heart witch is always open for me. He stroke my hair with his worked hand. My good old man is smiling and his thoughts are flying away in another world.
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