Thursday, April 05, 2007
Articles and Edits (and etc.)
Put anything new you're working on or any new edits of pieces not yet published at this post (to avoid confusion). Hope to see another teacher article, for example! I'll look through your offerings, but articles by Natalia and Hiromi (at the bank machine) look nearly ready (I can do the "copy" edit). James's article is ready (just need a teaser) as is Ritsuko's article on hot springs. New content to start a new week. See you next Thursday (and hoping to see you, Stacey, too!)
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25 comments:
Hello, Brad.
I have an idea about the teaser for my article, hot springs.
“Relaxation at the hot springs delights the Japanese people—It gives a peaceful moment and encourage their healthy life.
I understand the last paragraph doesn’t relate to the topic, so maybe it should be omitted…? Would you please consider about it?
Thank you very much.
And everyone,
I’ve learned many ideas by reviewing our articles in class. Thanks for your suggestions.
Have a wonderful holiday!
Save Money and still Driving
Gas price sky rocket.
The price of gas has gone higher and higher over the last few years. Our pockets have become lighter and lighter. Therefore, it is hard to afford big V6 or V 8 vehicles.
Global worming.
Large vehicles are one of the major causes of global warming. Some feel this is partially responsible for the strange, shifting weather we have experienced over the past months.
How do we solve this problem?
How do we solve the problem of global worming? Solving it may be difficult, but we can reduce the problem in one special way.
Earth friendly hybrid vehicles.
Hybrid vehicles combine two or more sources of power. Most of the hybrid vehicles run off a rechargeable battery and gasoline.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of hybrid cars?
The advantage of hybrid cars is good mileage, lower emission up30%, less noise, long lasting brakes. For example, brakes can last 150,000 k/m and on some cars, batteries go up to 150,000 miles or close to10 years. Hybrid cars often recover braking energy and use it to charge the battery.
The disadvantages– they still produce emissions in to the atmosphere, are expensive, costly to
repair, and are not powerful as gasoline vehicles.
Many people believe that the best hybrid car in the market today is Toyota prius.
Toyota Prius— Type Mid-size 5-door hatchback, gas-electric hybrid Engine 1.5 litre 4-cylinder, DOHC 16 valves (high expansion ratio cycle) Horsepower 76 at 5,000 r.p.m. Torque 82 lb.ft. at 4,200 r.p.m. Motor Synchronous AC motor Horsepower 67 (50 kilowatts) from 1,200 - 1540 r.p.m. Torque 295 lb.ft. from 0 - 1200 r.p.m. Transmission Continuously variable, Fuel consumption City: 3.9 L/100 km (72.4 mpg) Highway: 4.7 L/100 km (60.1 mpg)
Toyota Prius’s approximately price starts from $32000.00.
The government is giving up to $2000.00 tax reduction when you buy any hybrid vehicle.
Overall, the hybrid cars will save you some money in long term according to the good mileage and long lasting brakes etc...
hi everyone, this is my new edit on
my article.plz give me sugestions on it.
have a happy long weekend everyone!
Hi Harjit,
Happy Vaisakhi !
Hi Brad,
I’m not ready to write something about my teachers now, but I really like this one to be published. I’m sorry.
A Teaser: I hardly ever see a wall in Vancouver at the first day I came to Canada. It really surprised me!
The Wall
I noticed a very interesting thing at the first day I came to Canada: I hardly ever see a wall in Vancouver! It really surprised me because it is so different to my home country, China.
In the past, from the whole country to every city, an emperor’s big palace to a farmer’s small house was surrounded by all kinds of walls. In nowadays, even every factory, hospital, company, school, library, park, and apartment is still surrounded by high walls.
Walls stand everywhere; the most famous one is The Great Wall. Comparing with other ways, to build walls might be a good idea to forestall break-ins. I’m not worrying about this; I’m worrying about something else—the invisible walls between people.
In tandem with the development of the economy, we have built more and more rather thick walls in our hearts. We don’t trust each other any more because we can’t. How can we trust each other while few people already have so much and so many people almost have not?
A wall might be able to protect ourselves, but also it might be able to shackle us. How to break those political, institutional, and religionary walls might be an international task.I wish some day there is no any wall in the world except The Great Wall of China.
Hi,Catherine:
There is a too naive error you made in the following sentence:
I hardly ever see a wall in Vancouver at the first day I came to Canada. It really surprised me!
It should be SAW not SEE.
hi cathrine,
Happy vaisakhi to you and to everyone!
Hi Hargit
Sorry for late comment.
Good contents! Your article has many interesting examples. So, I'd like to see the nuts graf, the main idea of the article, to find out what you are going to talk about.
I know it's tough since I've struggled with it but try our best.
See you.
Hi again, I rewrote Turquoise; I changed the introduction and the last paragraph.
And thank you for editing my first article, Brad. That's great!
The Mystical Gemstone—Turquoise
What do you associate with the name of turquoise? I think of the blue sky, the vast oceans, exotic countries, and the Native American jewelry.
These cheerful images remind me of the myths of the gemstone that it would protect travelers.
“Don’t be reckless.” My sister warned and gave me a turquoise ring for my traveling. Wearing the ring, in 1991, I conquered an adventure in Australia. Inspired by the experience, I always wear a turquoise jewel as a talisman.
According to the metaphorical properties, a turquoise stone promotes healing and protection for life. The fantastic history, unique origins and the peaceful colours generate the mystical power believable.
The Precious Stone
Turquoise has been one of the most popular and the oldest gemstone in the world. Especially for the ancient people in Egypt and Persia, turquoise was valued as a spiritual stone that would heal or prevent disease and injuries. Generally, Native American culture as well as many cultures has considered it as a sign of good health, success or happiness.
Turquoise: http://www.indians.org/articles/turquoise.html
Not Stone of Turkey
Previously, I thought turquoise would be the gem discovered in Turkey because of its nuance. In reality, it originated in French word since it had been carried to Europe through Turkey. It is also said that the name derived from French words, “Pieerr
tuquin,” which means “dark blue stone.” The distinct name charms me and emphasizes it as a mysterious stone.
The Healing Effect and Colour Variations
Turquoise colour encourages healing process. In fact, turquoise gemstones have various colours: vivid blue, pale blue, greyish blue, greenish blue and lime green. The gemstone consists of hydrated copper, aluminum, phosphate and minerals; thus the amounts of each element produce the colour changes. The turquoise with clear sky-blue is thought to be the top quality and helps soothing, on the other hand, the Caribbean Sea like shade green one is gentle, which may calm our temper.
(320 words)
And my new article:
How to Enjoy Parties
The first meeting with unknown people would be uneasy for many of us. When I was a new to parties in Canada, I would often stand awkwardly the side of the wall in the room, hoping if someone could talk to me. Against the lively atmosphere, I felt lonely and frustrated with hesitation.
Parties provide us great chances to amuse ourselves by sharing a delightful moment with others. You might find your future friends, or you could gain useful information and knowledge for life. So, instead of waiting for someone, let’s start joining people and have fun.
The following are tips on how to approach and behave to the people at a party. However, the most important things are good attitudes—be friendly, flexible, and positive.
Keep Smiling
During a party, keep smiling. It helps you be positive and gives a good impression to others. They might come closer to you.
Be Honest
Say clearly what you would like to drink or eat when you are asked. If you are weak in English conversation, it is better to mention to a person, “I’m learning English.” By this phrase, she or he would adjust speaking for you, and it would also expand the conversation.
Observe People To talk
Give a lot of care to others’ actions and words, belongings. Catch something interesting point from people to get an opportunity to chat with them.
Be a good listener
Listening attentively is a favorable manner that would satisfy others feelings. Give some questions or comments for their speeches.
Find a Talkative Person
Being shy? That’s all right. Just find out someone who is the most talkative at a party. Then stay with her or him. Luckily, if the person is generous, she or he might take care of your shyness during the party.
Help a Host or a Hostess
Helping a host or hostess is beneficial. You will be allowed to enter the kitchen to make yourself busy. It also gives you a chance to approach to others by serving. Beside, they may appreciate your kindness.
(345 words including subheadings)
Harjit,
Hey, sorry for my late comment also.
I still would like to see an anecdote at the start.
Everyone knows the information in the first three paragraphs already. I’d rather hear your personal story a bit. It would be more interesting, don’t you think?
Catherine,
That seems like a tough topic. Maybe more concrete example of invisible wall? Show what you are talking about exactly? (I kinda know but want to see it.)
I personally think that good things are happening—a lot of campaigns for Africa and developing countries—but of course, it’s not enough yet. And Western countries are much more generous than East (I’m talking about Japan).
And I’m more like: it’s okay to have a wall. Just check up the other side sometimes. And try to understand and to get along.
Ritchan,
Well, start with the anecdote with your sister like you did before. I thought that was better. Personal and interesting.
And I haven't read your new one yet. I'll comment tomorrow.
Teaser: Want to see Rick smile? Just mention his daugher. Here's Rick you didn't know. . .
Surprisingly Family Man: Rick
It was five P.M. and the lab at the PALC was quiet. The daytime students were gone, and only a couple of students were studying at the big table. Rick arrived a while ago and was preparing for his evening class.
“I like the environment. It’s nice to work here with mature students,” said Rick, who previously worked at Queensborough Middle School and Royal City Alternate Program for teens. “And the time is perfect. I work in the evening so that I can spend the time with my daughter,” he smiled, referring to his 22 months old daughter, Gabrielle.
The youngest of four, Rick was born and raised in Kelowna B.C. After graduating from high school, he enrolled in Simon Fraser University with a scholarship and studied biology.
But he flunked in the first year. “I was young and having a good time with friends,” he said. “We had fun. And we are still good friends.” He also met his wife, Che-Yin, in SFU. Her parents were from Hong Kong, and she grew up in Prince George.
It took him six years to graduate—with extra credit of economics—and the young couple were married in 1995. Before he was hired by New Westminster School District, he experienced numerous jobs. A nature interpreter and a Canada Customs inspector at the Surry border were two examples.
He has been teaching at the PALC for three years, and his current courses are English 8, Social Studies 8, and online English 12. “Preparation for the class and marking are tough parts, but it’s great to be here. I’ll stick around till retirement,” he said.
When he was a kid, he wanted to be a comic book artist. Here’s some of his favourites.
Hobby: drawing, volley ball, running
Movie: X-Men, Spider-Man
Music: Creed, U2, Three Doors Down
Book: X-Men 140
Indulgence: hamburgers. Big Xtra at McDonald will do.
Pastime: going for coffee at Blenz (Starbucks’ is too strong) and watching people with his wife.
332 words
(I'm not sure about the title, though. . . )
Hi Hiromi,
I like the content and the teaser. I would change the title, although I like it. I think that something should be said about Rick's teaching. Sorry for non-practical advices.
Natalia
Thanks Natalia.
Yeah, I feel a bit awkward, too.
Well, I'll think about it more and ask you guys on Thursday.
Hi Ritchan,
I think you can start with your own story.
Describe a scene a bit about “When I was a new to parties in Canada, I would often stand awkwardly the side of the wall in the room, hoping if someone could talk to me.”
Like you did on the hot springs article.
Sound like good tips! (But I’m illegitimate to say anything. I don’t go to parties and will avoid them at all costs)
And I really like the headings plus short paragraphs. It’s so easy to follow the ideas!
Hi Hiromi,
Thank you very much! I wrote another paragraph to replace the old one.
Owing to the uneven development of the economy, we build a rather thick wall in our hearts—distrust. We don’t trust each other any more because we can’t. How could we trust each other when some of us became haves and the other are still have-nots?
Hi, Ritsuko,
I really like your articel because it is very clear, detailed, and exercisable!
Teaser: If you are a meat lover and also concerned about your health, here is the perfect dish for you. Enjoy Bulgogi, marinated beef with diverse vegetables.
The Speedy Cooking: Bulgogi (Marinated beef)
If you ask me what the most famous dish in Korea is, I would recommend Bulgogi, marinated beef dish, Bulgogi is the representative and the most common dish in every Korean restaurant. Traditionally, Bulgogi, is cooked on a dome-shaped pan that is placed over a charcoal brazier however, we prefer to cook in a regular fry pan or an electric skillet because of its convenience. Bulgogi is not only tasty and healthy but also very versatile with many kinds of vegetables and noodles.
Ingredients
1lb Thin-sliced Beef
1 medium Onion
1/2 Carrot
4 Mushrooms
5 T Soy bean sauce
2~3 T Minced Garlic
3 T Chopped green Onion
3~4 T Sugar
2 T Sesame Oil
1/2 t Pepper
Directions:
1. Mix the soy bean sauce, minced Garlic, green onion, sugar, sesame oil, and pepper in a small bowl (Sauce)
2. Slice the vegetables finely.
3. Mix beef with the sauce and vegetables in a large bowl.
4. Wait for the beef and vegetables to get mixed well with the sauce. (Over 10 min)
5. Pour the mixed Bulgogi on the preheated pan.
Tips:
For more tender beef you may put juice from blended kiwi or pear.
If you are craving sweet taste you may add 1~2 T honey.
Hi, everyone
Sorry for my late responses, Catherine and Hiromi--my conputer has been in trouble. I've been in shock. Forgive my misspelling if you find.
Catherine:
Your article remind of Civics 11; it awoke me from indifference.
Unlike China, Japan is a small country, like islands sourrounded by the oceans. It consists of one race and one language, having the same value of life.So, we didn't need to have walls to protect us from danger.(Of course there are some.) Probably, we also didn't feel an invisible barrier
between peoples. (maybe we are dull?)
By the way,
I agree with Hiromi's suggetion.
The Great Wall is one of the most famous, historical place--I know.
I really like to visit there someday. It might be helpful for readers if you could add a piece of information about The Great Wall because some people might not get what it is.
Hiromi san:
Thanks for your comments. And I feel relief thatI didn't make you
irritated with my subheadings such as "Be Positive" or "Keep Smiling".
About the title of your article about Rick, I know, it's really tough.
He is working for evening class, a night person but a family man. He looks like a cusual student but an earnest teacher. He looks cool but polite. Mm...Let's talk about the title tomorrow. Your 2nd draft helps me when I write about Dina.
Thanks.
Lastly,
Rosaria:
It's great! It can save me going to a Korean restaurant.
I have an idea about your teaser:
it would be better if you add "Korean"or "Korean style".
How do you think?
See you everyone.
Hi Ritsuko,
Thanks for your advice! I agree with you; actually, there should be a single paragraph for the Great Wall.
A Teaser: I hardly ever saw a wall in Vancouver at the first day I came to Canada. It really surprised me!
The Wall
I noticed a very interesting thing at the first day I came to Canada: I hardly ever saw a wall in Vancouver! It really surprised me because it is so different to my home country, China.
The Great Wall is the most famous wall in the world (34,600km long, 12m high). It was built over 2,000 years ago, by the first emperor of China—Qin Shi Huang. He hoped that it could be a solid protection against invading nomads’ tribes from the north.
In the past, from the whole country to every city, an emperor’s big palace to a farmer’s small house was surrounded by all kinds of walls. In nowadays, even every factory, hospital, company, school, library, park, and apartment is still surrounded by high walls.
Walls stand everywhere from ancient to modern times. comparing with other ways, to build walls might be a good idea to forestall break-ins. I’m not worrying about this; I’m worrying about something else—the invisible walls between people.
Owing to the uneven development of the economy, we build a rather thick wall in our hearts—distrust. We don’t trust each other any more because we can’t. How could we trust each other when some of us became the haves and the other are still the have-nots?
A wall might be able to protect ourselves, but also it might be able to shackle us. How to break those political, institutional, and religionary walls might be an international task. I wish some day there is no any wall in the world except The Great Wall of China.
Hi everyone
It might not seem like I pay attention when we edit articles in class, but I am watching and like what I see.
Save for a few grammatical errors, these artciles are shaping up!
I'm always looking for ways to make it better, but Stacey is good at that.
She usually says what I would say in terms of changes.
I know you must be wondering what a quiet guy like me knows about romance?
I'll have more a little later. Nothing to do with infidelity, but more a philosophy of relationships.
More in a bit.
Hi James,
I'm really excited about your romance article. If you have a chance, please give us your suggestions. I think we need to learn English expressions more.
Stacy:
Thanks for many suggestions in class. Indeed, your quick, reasonable corrections amazed me. And Hope to see your new article.
Parmesan Crusted Veggies.
A nutritious and tasty alternative to French fries.
Enjoy the same crispy, crunchy texture of fries with these delicious vegetables.
You will need;
1 small bunch Brussels sprouts broken into bite size pieces.
1 small bunch cauliflower broken into bite size pieces.
4 Tbsp olive oil.
2 large eggs, beaten.
1 cup grated parmesan cheese.
1. Heat oil in frying pan over medium heat.
2. Pour beaten eggs over vegetable florets.
3. Mix gently with spoon.
4. Empty vegetables onto baking sheet or other flat surface.
5. Pour parmesan over veggies and coat with hands.
6. Drop vegetables in hot oil and turn alternately, three minutes per side.
7. Salt when piping hot to taste.
Hi guys.
Sorry it took me so long to put something out there. I'm still working on a rant. I've yet to find something that really bugged me this week. Guess I shouldn't complain. Maybe I'll consider a rave.
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