Thursday, March 08, 2007

Revisions and Edits for The Buzz

The original post is getting a bit long, so post any final revisions etc. here for a last look. Take a look at Stacey and Hiromi's subheadings and try the same if you haven't already. Remember that for the Web, a paragraph of 50 to 75 words is long enough. Whatever you do, don't be boring as a Web reader tends to decide to move on in seconds!
NEW: Here's another good resource on writing well for the Web.

30 comments:

Stacey said...

Keeping Kids Safe in a Dangerous World
Stacey Clements

Dangerous Times;

We live in dangerous times. How do we keep our kids safe in a world full of predators? What age is appropriate for this discussion? What is the best way to approach these topics with our children?

Frank Conversation;

Every day our children are victims of abduction, molestation, murder. The world lacks the safety we wish was there for our families. The state of the planet is scary but there are things we can do to safeguard our kids. Honesty is the best policy with my own child. Things I say scare him sometimes but children need to be aware of who and what is out there.

Sensitive Information at a sensitive age;

We all need to introduce this subject to our children sensitively. Age is important. At two I began telling my son that the areas his bathing suit covered were areas that were off limits. I told him that he could and should yell as loudly as he could “NO!” Tell the nearest adult he trusted. He’s been told that he can tell his teacher or any employee at his school if something inappropriate occurs. He’s been taught that no matter who it is that does something like this, even if it’s someone he thought was his friend or mine is wrong and he is completely without fault.

Knowledge is power;

We need to arm our children with as much information as we can at different times in their lives. My son is now eight and we’ve gone on to discussing what to do if somebody tried to get him in their car. I told him about a story I read about a girl who was the victim of an attempted abduction. A man tried to force the girl in his car. She resisted by yelling and holding onto her bike. The man could not fit the girl and the bike in the car so eventually let both go.

Truth above discomfort;

It’s a difficult topic to think about. It’s a more difficult thing to discuss with our children. I for one would rather the temporary discomfort of the conversation to the lifetime of sorrow I might have were I not honest with my child.

Catherine said...

Differences between Different Cultures

Living in Vancouver is very interesting because people come from different places and have different cultures.

For example, Chinese people have very different views on how to take care of and educate a child.

Dressing a Baby

A new born boy just came. If he was wrapped by many layer clothing like an onion, he was a Chinese boy; if only a sleeper or even a diaper, maybe not.

Many Chinese parents are wont to wrap their babies too much because they think warm clothing helps to ward off a cold.

In North America, doctors consider that babies should never be overclothed; dressing less helps a baby to build up his immune ability.

Independence

A baby boy tripped over the root of a tree. If his parents ran at him, gathered up him, and comforted him immediately, he was a Chinese boy; if they let him to pick himself up, he should be not.

Chinese parents think it is their fault; they should help the baby because he is too young to stand up by himself.

In Canada, many parents prefer to encourage the baby to stand up by himself because they believe the baby has the ability. They’ve fostered their children to be independent from childhood.

Punishment

A teenage boy did a bad thing. If he was punished by staying outside the door, he was a Chinese boy; if he was punished by staying inside the door, usually, he is a local boy.

Chinese culture emphasizes the family attachment; to refuse him going into the house is a serious punishment.

I think Western culture emphasizes freedom; to forbid him going out to play might be the worst punishment for him.

Brad said...

Tracey,
It's great, topical and practical information anyone can use. Bravo!

Your use of "we wish was there" is acceptable in conversational English, but some readers want to hear "we wish were there," the more formal version.

Like your sensitive info paragraph much more than the frank conversation. Look at the sentence rhythm in frank conversation. Give a short, "showier" example. You've done it well in the second two body paragraphs.

The "somebody tried to get him in their car," may bother a very few stickers for "his" or "his or her" (which I hate!), depending on the person. I'd leave it as it is, personally. It reads better and offends no one with the gender of his or her.

Brad said...

Catherine,

How about a short anecdote that illustrates that cultural difference? Humorous or?

Try "has just arrived" for "just came."

The phrase "are wont" is quite affected in English and some won't understand it, either.

Careful of "never be overclothed" as North Americans are a pretty diverse lot. "less often overdressed" might be more factual.

Is there a logical concluding paragraph to the article? If you start with an anecdote, you can end on one, too.

Stacey said...

Keeping Kids Safe in a Dangerous World
Stacey Clements

Dangerous Times;

We live in dangerous times. How do we keep our kids safe in a world full of predators? What age is appropriate for this discussion? What is the best way to approach these topics with our children?

Frank Conversation;

Every day our children are the victims of abduction, molestation, murder. The world lacks the safety we wish were there for our families. The state of the planet is scary but there are things we can do to safeguard our kids. Frank conversation is the key to making our children aware in a society so filled with those who would prey on them.


Sensitive Information at a sensitive age;

We all need to introduce this subject to our children sensitively. Age is important. At two I began telling my son that the areas his bathing suit covered were areas that were off limits. I told him that he could and should yell as loudly as he could “NO!” Tell the nearest adult he trusted. He’s been told that he can tell his teacher or any employee at his school if something inappropriate occurs. He’s been taught that no matter who it is that does something like this, even if it’s someone he thought was his friend or mine is wrong and he is completely without fault.

Knowledge is power;

We need to arm our children with as much information as we can at different times in their lives. My son is now eight and we’ve gone on to discussing what to do if somebody tried to get him in their car. I told him about a story I read about a girl who was the victim of an attempted abduction. A man tried to force the girl in his car. She resisted by yelling and holding onto her bike. The man could not fit the girl and the bike in the car so eventually let both go.

Truth above discomfort;

It’s a difficult topic to think about. It’s a more difficult thing to discuss with our children. I for one would rather the temporary discomfort of the conversation to the lifetime of sorrow I might have were I not honest with my child.

suzanne said...

Brad,
Sorry, I have tried my best to condense more words, but I still can't help since I have to describe many things in this story.


My Story about Yoga

Yoga saved my life and it has become my career. It has given me good health, confidence in life and energy. For the health reason, I don’t want to stop doing Yoga.

My story started from an aerobic exercise that was initiated by the women’s association in Taiwan 33 years ago. As one of the administrators of the association, I tried my best to help established the class. I was also an earnest participant in the class.

Later on, my teacher changed the aerobic course to Yoga because the adult’s muscles were too stiff to have good posture. Many of the students gave up the course except me. I became the only persistent student. I was often asked to demonstrate in the class. My teacher always complimented me in public that encouraged me a lot.

After I have practiced Yoga, I am always full of energy which builds up my confidence in studying many things and participating in various activities. The most important thing is that my illnesses had gone away, such as, migraine, stomach ache, motion sickness, and menstrual problem. The most serious disease was stomach ache that had been bothering me like a bomb in my body ready to explode since I was a kid. Since Yoga gives me so much benefit, I become an enthusiastic participant.

One day, one of my friends recommended me to teach Yoga in the Social Education Hall in Hshin Chu city in Taiwan. At an accidental visit, she saw my postures while I was practicing. I just intended to try one class but it developed into many classes. Since then, Yoga has become my career.

My chronic disease---stomach ache, was actually caused by an anomalous bile duct which was as huge as a sack and a shrunken junction between bile duct and duodenum. I had received the wrong treatment for the stomach disease because my doctors never figured out the real problem. Later, the modern technology, ultrasound, benefited me. My doctor was able to diagnose that I was born with a huge bile duct that would accumulate dirt in the gall liquid to form stones.

During the 16 years that I practiced Yoga, my stomach ache disappeared. However, the stones constantly grew until they had grown too much; some stones even piled up in my liver. When I had an operation in the hospital, I found many of the patients like me had lost their lives, because the gall liquid was blocked by stones, and then it detoured its path to the pancreas. I was frightened because my situation was more serious than anyone else there.

Yoga benefited me by accident. It reminded me I have done upside down everyday so that the liquid went back into the bile duct instead of the pancreas. And also, I did the Yoga special remedy that cleaned my stomach whenever I couldn’t endure the pain. Later, I realized that my gall bladder wouldn’t compress the gall out of it when my stomach was empty. I am appreciative that all these good things happened to save my life.

Yoga saved my life, and it has made me full of energy and benefits me very much. I couldn’t stop doing Yoga.

Stacey said...

Hi Suzanne.

I found what you had to say about yoga very interesting. I did a word count and there are over 500 words. I think Brad mentioned that we should try to make our paragraphs 50 to 70 words long, to keep the fickle readers interested. Also your first paragraph reads that yoga saved your life. Why not use a subheading like "Yoga Saves Lives." Then go right into how it saved your life. Or start like you did about it being your career. Choose three or four really important aspects of yoga. Concentrate on the subject of each paragraph, add subheadings for each paragraph. I think if I've explained things properly it might get a little easier to condense the subject for you.

One more thing. I didn't really understand the medical terminology of your stomach disorder. I think it might be better to put it in layman's terms so everyone will know what it is.

hiromi said...

Suzanne,

You’ve got a lot to say, so maybe write in series?
Focusing on one period of your life and yoga each time?
It was fascinating that yoga helped your “bile duct” problem! You can write about it in one installment.

I don’t know nothing about yoga, other than that they pose and meditate (?). So maybe a little introduction for people like me?



Stacey,

Great information!

I just think that half of the second paragraph is about “dangerous times.” I’d like to see more “flank conversation” part. Some real conversation you had with your boy, maybe?

hiromi said...

Who is dumber?
Thoughts on the notice from school

“Student-led Conferences” are coming up at my kids’ elementary school. If it sounds unfamiliar to you, this is what we do: parents visit the classrooms; kids show their work—journals, art projects, and such; we compliment their efforts and chit-chat with teachers. It’s a casual meeting which takes only fifteen minutes.

But this year, the school issued a page full of list, “SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS BEFORE CONFERENCES.” And this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

The list claims that it “will help ensure a successful experience for you and your child.”
I’m already suspicious. I even feel a danger, especially in “ensure.”
The list is meticulously categorised in three parts—A. Before the Conference, B. During the Conference, and C. At the Closing of the Conference.

*A1: Make this a time when your child has your undivided attention—no siblings please.*

The underline! I’m disgusted. Most students have siblings, some as young as toddlers and babies, and the school know that. Should we parents hire a babysitter or arrange childcare voluntarily? Talk about inconsideration. Not practical at all. The word “undivided attention” is so textbook-perfect that it makes me ill. What’s wrong with taking brothers and sisters and make it family affair? I’m already fuming, but this is only a start.

*A2: Sit on the same side of the table as your child.*

Wait. I thought we are grownups, not five-years-olds. Do we need to be told where to sit?

This is nuts. Now, let’s fastforward to B section.

*B1: Focus on the positives.
B2: SMILE!*

Capital letters! With an exclamation mark! They want to enforce the facial expression! Ugh! NOOOOO! NEVERRRR!

*B5: Employ active listening skills.
a. Use eye contact.
b. Maintain positive body language.
c. Listen attentively.
d. Paraphrase.*

What does that mean exactly? Do I have to stare at my kid, how long? “Positive” means grinning like an idiot? If I keep nodding, is that “attentive”?

The list goes on, but I can’t go any further. Sense of hopelessness comes over me. I would never ever understand the person who talks this language. We are a-million-light-years apart.

*Back off, school officials!*

I’m sick of their self-righteousness. Burn those how-to-run-everything-according-to-us books. We, parents, do have common sense. We might not have Education Expert badges on, but we are not dumb, either! Most definitely we are able to handle the fifteen-minute conference without the “suggestion.” So shove it. Leave me alone!


I thought about boycotting the conference. But no, I can’t let down my kids. So I’ll go to my second grader’s classroom with his sister and my neighbour’s four-year-old (voluntary child care). I ignore section C’s “share two compliments before one area for improvement”, and we sit together, hail, and praise him like hell until he begs to stop. I might get detention, but who cares?

470 words including subheads



This comment section doesn't show boldface or underline, but I'd like *subhead* to be boldface, and there are some underline parts:
A1. under "no siblings please."
In the last paragragh, under "two" and "one" in the quotaion.

(Oh well, I'll just send the word file later.)

Stacey said...

Hi Brad.

I have an odd request. My son is here a week early for Spring break. I don't want to miss any more classes. Can I bring him to class with me on Thursday? If he becomes troublesome we will leave. He's a good boy and I'm sure he'll behave. I know it's kind of weird but If I don't bring him I'll have to miss another class. Thanks.

Brad said...

Stacey,

Sorry, but the school policy forbids bringing children to class. Insurance issues and the like! Hope you can find an alternative in time.

suzanne said...

Stacey and Heromi,
Thank you for your suggestion. I hope my correction will be better. Below is my revise:

My Story about Yoga

Yoga saved my life and it has become my career. It has given me good health, confidence in life and energy. For the health reason, I don’t want to stop doing Yoga.

My story started from an aerobic exercise that was initiated by the women’s association in Taiwan 33 years ago. As one of the administrators of the association, I tried my best to help established the class. I was also an earnest participant in the class.

My story should come up several stages: (1) Aerobic class was replaced with Yoga. (2) Yoga has benefited me. (3) Yoga becomes my career. (4) The true of my gastrointestinal disorder. (5) Astonishing. (6) Healing by accident.

Aerobic class was replaced with Yoga:

Later on, my teacher changed the aerobic course to Yoga because the adult’s muscles were too stiff to have good posture. Many of the students gave up the course except me. I became the only persistent student. I was often asked to demonstrate in the class. My teacher always complimented me in public that encouraged me a lot.

Yoga has benefited me:

After I have practiced Yoga, I am always full of energy which builds up my confidence in studying many things and participating in various activities. The most important thing is that my illnesses had gone away, such as, migraine, stomach ache, motion sickness, and menstrual problem. The most serious disease was stomach ache that had been bothering me like a bomb in my body ready to explode since I was a kid. Since Yoga gives me so much benefit, I become an enthusiastic participant.

Yoga becomes my career:

One day, one of my friends recommended me to teach Yoga in the Social Education Hall in Hshin Chu city in Taiwan. At an accidental visit, she saw my postures while I was practicing. I just intended to try one class but it developed into many classes. Many of my students have followed me since I started my class. I even didn’t have any time for my vacation during the time I was teaching in Taiwan. Then, Yoga has become my career.

The true of my gastrointestinal disorder:

My gastrointestinal disorder was actually caused by an anomalous bile duct which is as huge as a sack and a shrunken junction between bile duct and duodenum. I had received the wrong treatment for the stomach disease because my doctors never figured out the real problem. Later, the modern technology, ultrasound, benefited me. My doctor was able to diagnose that I was born with a huge bile duct that would accumulate dirt in the gall liquid to form stones.

Astonishing:

During the 16 years that I practiced Yoga, my stomach ache disappeared. However, the stones constantly grew until they had grown too much; some stones even piled up in my liver. When I had an operation in the hospital, I found many of the patients like me had lost their lives, because the gall liquid was blocked by stones, and then it detoured its path to the pancreas. I was frightened because my situation was more serious than anyone else there.

Healing by accident:

Yoga benefited me by accident. It reminded me I have done upside down everyday so that the liquid went back into the bile duct instead of the pancreas. And also, I did the Yoga special remedy that cleaned my stomach whenever I couldn’t endure the pain. Later, I realized that my gall bladder wouldn’t compress the gall out of it when my stomach was empty. I am appreciative that all these good things happened to save my life.

Yoga saved my life, and it has made me full of energy and benefits me very much. I couldn’t stop doing Yoga.

Ritsuko said...

A Favourite Pastime for Tokyoites

Going to Onsen

The people in Tokyo are very fond of bathing in Onsen, hot springs. Onsen has been an old, popular custom, and it is still on the subject of our pastime. Even my niece eight years old has been an Onsen fan since the gorgeous baths and the amenities attracted her. Annually, I go back to Tokyo to cheer our family reunion with relaxation at the famous city Onsen.

The Traditional Onsen and Its Manners

Unlike the spas in North America, most of Japanese hot springs or spas are divided into two sections between men and women. All visitors follow the common manner: before bathing, they have to be nuked and wash their bodies. To keep clean spring water and to have a comfortable bath time with others, these manners are essential to consider.

The Current Onsen in the City

Some Onsen places in Tokyo and its surrounding prefectures have become well modernized. Maintaining the original Japanese style spas, they have started providing Western style spas as well; that means—no separate section—the visitors must wear swimsuits. The new facilities and the reasonable service satisfy various visitors with different purposes. Year by year, I find more foreign visitors, enjoying the spas with Japanese people in the city.

The Best Onsen Resort

Among the Onsen places, “Yunessun Spa Resort” would be the best of all. It takes about one hour from the central Tokyo by the railway. The facilities and architectures of spas are incredible! I’m sure that everyone could experience a delightful moment. This resort would be an ideal place where Onsen beginners could relish both relaxation and entertainment.

Hakone Kowakien Yunessun: http://www.yunessun.com/english/index.html

The Effect of Onsen

Onsen has gratified the people in Tokyo to spend a relaxing day. The hot spring water has many effects on humans’ health. Soaking in the water refreshes our weary minds and bodies. Also, it works for muscle pain, backache and blood circulation. Onsen is a pleasant treat to keep a good health in the busy circumstances. As for me, Onsen healing produces me a positive energy to reduce stress.

346 words(excluding the title)

Helena said...

Flying after the Sun


Flying to La Reunion from HongKong is 
like to drinking a glass of champagne facing an endless sunset. La Reunion is a small island lost in the South Indian Ocean, a French outre-mer department. Flying from the west to the east in a game of Hide-and-Seek with the sun. Departure from the airport of HongKong at 4:00pm, 6 hours after, the sun still puts its golden steps everywhere in the airplane.

Different from other international airplanes, which are tightened by stress and anxiety, this plane is fulfilled and smiling. Because, the tropical aromas, relaxed chartings and loudly laughing make this flight a delicious time on the Braham beach. My neighbor, a lady in bright green leaves and purple orchid, is feeding her bird-like daughter.

- Eating, eating, ma petite bird! You will grow like a plum tree!
- I don’t want to be a plum tree. I just want to be like you; wearing long flowering dresses everywhere I go.
- You will, ma petite! You will be the most beautiful princess of Vanilla in the whole island. And, you will marry a rich and handsome prince of Sucre-Cane.
- No, I just want to marry with my Daddy!

This secret conversation sweetens my heart. The people of La Reunion, living a life of simplicity and meaningfulness, are adored by the golden sun and the blue ocean and passionate volcano.

“Oh la la! La petite chinoise! My girlfriend has the same eyes as yours. She left me 2 months ago. I was crying from sunset to sunrise…” A young man, wiggling with the music of the island, opens his hands to me “To be my girlfriend just for this flight?”

To be continued…

James said...

The Canucks at Home


Hockey is a wonderful sport and professional hockey has seen many good seasons. Each year players compete for the glory of The Stanley Cup, a trophy etched with the names of the winners.

The Canucks’ season so far:

The Vancouver Canucks have never captured the cup. On and off the ice however, the humble team has proven themselves winners.
On a recent home stand, they won three games and lost none. The team’s whole hearted efforts have landed them neck and neck for first in their division, among Calgary and Minnesota. Holding their ground at first in the division would secure third place in the Western Conference, a lofty playoff spot.
Eighth place would do for our star goaltender Roberto Luongo, who has never recorded a playoff appearance. Luongo has performed superbly under pressure of games every other day, bringing home win after win.
If there is a Stanley Cup in the Canucks’ future, you can bet he’ll be minding the net.

Canuck Place Children’s Hospice:

Off the ice you’ll find him joining his teammates at Canuck place, meeting very special children undergoing treatment.
Canuck Place Children’s Hospice, founded 1995, offers palliative or “comfort” care to children with life-limiting diseases and their families. Canuck Place embodies a philosophy of care, enhancing the everyday lives of the patients through therapy, symptom management and support in fulfilling life’s goals. Individualized care programs are developed ensuring that the patient’s moral and religious beliefs are honored.
Canuck Place cares for children 19 and under, giving the freedom they need to explore art, music and free recreation.
Bereavement counseling is provided to the patient’s entire family.
The clinical staff at Canuck Place is refining methods of care, working with specialists across BC on pain and symptom management, navigating complex psychosocial issues.
Teen support groups are offered, providing a safe environment to explore issues of adolescence, appreciating the teen’s potential for growth.
For parents of children eligible for care, 30 pamphlets are available discussing emotional issues, dying, and moving forward.

Recent Canuck Place Development:

The Canucks for Kids Fund held its 17th annual telethon Thursday March 1st. The Canucks won the game against the Coyotes that night, and the telethon raised $ 944,958.
All involved were pleased with the show of support.

Canucks games can be viewed on Rogers Sportsnet, the channel that hosted the telethon. The Canucks are looking to make a hard playoff drive, and they’re well on their way. Tune in!
-----------------------------------

If I could just let of some steam for a minute...
I passed english 12 with 80
%, having gotten an A on the provincial.
Please stop telling me I need to use essay structure. I wrote essays out my wazoo to pass english.
I don't need to patronized thank you. My article is based on something you would see in the sun, not something a pimply faced 16 year old writes under duress from a teacher. Thanks
----------------------------------
I'm sorry I won't be in class today. I have a real problem with staying up all night, then the next day. I don't use drugs either, I just feel that way.
I'm going to do my very best to fix it.

hiromi said...

Entertaining Book
The Farm


I started English with cook books and children’s books. I frequented a library to learn the language and found that some books are simply tough; too many new vocabularies are intimidating, and long, complicated sentences exhausting. But reading should not be a torture. Some books are fun and thrilling, easy enough for ESL students.

One of them is The Firm by John Grisham. His sentence is short and crisp. He doesn’t fabricate fancy phrases. Yes, his words are surprisingly easy, and yet have its force. The swift plot drives you from scene to scene without break, and suspense keeps you from putting down the book. It is much more exciting than the movie version of the same title. Try the first page, and chances are you’ll finish four hundred pages before you know it.

Learning can be entertaining. Pick a right book for you and enjoy the ride. Book by book, English will become a bit easier.

157 words



I still want to revise it, but this is it so far...

Stacey said...

James.

Since September we've all been encouraged to critique other student's writing. I don't believe this is the proper format for your concerns. It's relatively easy to take the written word the wrong way and become angry. In future I hope you'll go to the person you have an issue with and discuss it with them face to face.

Natalia said...

Affordable Music in New West

There are at least three places in New Westminster where people can enjoy good music without spending much.

Douglas College Performing Art Theatre

The best place is Douglas College Performing Art Theatre that hosts Thursday noon (12:30-1:30) concerts during the season from September till June. They always present a wide variety of instruments and styles of music with a high quality of performance. From time to time, Douglas College also has different exciting evening events such as Jazz Night Bands, and College Chorus and Chorale Concerts. Free admission makes them even more attractive to the public. For more information see: http://www.douglas.bc.ca/events.html

Queen’s Avenue United Church

Second best destination is Queen’s Avenue United Church on 6th Street that has a great concert hall with a marvelous organ where music lovers will find another choice of affordable good music: from chamber concerts and recitals (concerts for the soloists) to West Cost Symphony Orchestra performances. The price for the above is less than $20 or very often by donation (that means give whatever you can afford).

Massey Theatre

The third place of choice is the Massey Theatre that gives its stage to the New Westminster Symphony Orchestra performances or its collaborative works with the Ballet Academy of Richmond with the admission by donation.

So, if you have time and desire, watch for ads in the local newspapers The Record and News Leader, choose your favorite concert, bring your family along (kids are welcome) and enjoy the advantage of New Westminster’s musical life.

Stacey said...

Natalia.

I thought it was great, very informative and well written.

James said...

Catherine,

Your writing is unique. I can see partial metaphors taking shape, comparisons and contrasts, as in the chinese boy.
In time you will learn english well and expressing yourself will be easier

Until then don't even think about giving up.
The english language is a beautiful part of this country, and one day you will master it.

If you don't give up.

Ritsuko said...

Hi Catherine,
how are you doing?

To be honest, I also thought of giving up the topic I was writing last week. I was really depressed.

You know, this time is our first topic--right? So, we still have other topics to write. I guess all we need to do is just don't be struck. Let's go on, together!
Let's think about next topic, too.

And bit of my comment on your article:

Probably, you might need your personal opinion, impression or reaction about the cultural difference(like Hiromi's article)
between the examples, as well as adding an anecdute.

And Suzanne:

Have a nice trip!
Please comment on the Blog.
I'm looking forward hearing from you while you stay in Taiwan.
And, show us your pictures when you come back to school.

Catherine said...

Hi, James and Ritsuko,

Thanks for your support!

I wanted to give up this topic because it was the first time I realized that culture is a very sensitive topic.

Some people think their culture is the best (like religion), if I write some thing they don’t like, they may kill me (just kidding).

Culture itself is too complicated; my English is not good enough to express what I really want to say.

My first version may be is too simple and too exaggerated but I like it; I say something in my way. If I have to change it to please every one, I would rather to give up.

But I didn’t mean to give up learning English; I quite enjoy learning English!

Anyway, I’ll work hard with you all and write another one as soon as possible.

Have a very nice break and thanks again!

hiromi said...

Catherine,

Cultural difference seems to be a tough topic, but I still want you to try it, though.
It’s such an interesting topic!

You know, when I first came to PALC, I was shocked by teacher’s name tags. First names! I thought, what’s this? Do they expect me to call them by first name? And they did. That was unheard-of in my country; we should respect elders, teachers, authorities, and yada yada yada. . . I remember it was hard for me (to call them by first name) for a while.

I think there should be a way.
I want to hear a real voice. We have to be sensitive, but at the same time we don’t have to please everyone. That's impossible.

Larry said before that infidelity is common among new immigrants. And I didn’t know that! Is that true? That topic is also interesting. . .

Catherine said...

Hi Hiromi,

Thanks a lot! You always give me help since the first time I met you.

Yes, culture difference is very interesting for me, but I felt frustrated when I even couldn’t able to explain my opinion in English.

Also, you may find that my opinion might be too extreme sometimes.

I already finished up another one. I’ll post it tonight.

I welcome all of you to fix it!

Thanks again!


Unfortunately, Larry’s word is true. It is a big problem in Chinese community. I’ve mentioned it a little bit in my short story “A Single Wife”. I should write another piece soon.

Catherine said...

Sorry, my classmates,

I came home late last night, so I didn’t post my piece here on time.

I gave up the first one because it is not a “feature” at all and I realized that to compare the different cultures I don’t really know is stupid.

I’ll focus something that is not only interesting but also familiar to me.




Should I Change A Husband For A Bunch Of Flowers?

My husband is a very traditional Chinese man: he loves me, but he never said “I love you” to me or bought flower for me.

In the morning of Valentine’s Day this year, we happened to pass by a florist where many people were choosing and buying flowers.

My husband asked me, “Do you really want me to buy a bunch of red roses for you?”

“It is too affected to buy you flowers,” he said, “I would rather to go out for a good dinner with you. What do you think?”

What do I think? Of course I love flowers! Is it possible bees don’t love honey?

Unfortunately, my husband is a Chinese man. He doesn’t like show his feeling by flowers or sweet words.

In China, old-time generations never called their wives “darling,” “honey,” or “sweetheart.” In fact, there are no such affectionate words in Chinese language! My father called my mother “Children’s mother” or “old partner”.

My father was not romantic at all, but he gave my mother she wanted the most. He not only supported our own family, but also his parents, my mother’s parents and my mother’s sister until she could able to support herself.

Since my brother-in-law got married with my elder sister, he almost became my family’s “slave”. Every time my father or my mother got sick, he always took care of them as his own parents.

My husband shows his love by his actions, though he never bought me flowers. While he buys me everything I like it, he begrudges the money spent for himself.

I love romantic; but my husband doesn’t. What should I do? Should I change a husband for a bunch of flowers?

hiromi said...

Catherine,

I like it!
Yes, yes, Japanese doesn’t have the affectionate words, either. So I know what you are talking about.

Maybe you can omit the paragraph about your brother-in-law? Because you already explain well in your father’s part.

And show us what Larry buys for you. What is “everything I like”? (I’m just curious and want to know.)

Just minor grammar correction:
-“would rather to go” ->would rather go
-“doesn’t like show his feeling” -> “like to show” or “like showing”

Catherine said...

Hiromi,

Thank you very much!

Yes, your advices are right; it’s better to omit that part.

In the ending, “I love romantic,” should be, “I love romance.”

In a traditional Chinese family, husband has the responsibility to buy the house and support the whole family, but nowadays most women and men have to work together to support their families.

I’m lucky; Larry is a traditional man. He buys everything including our apartment, car, furniture, and household electrical appliances.

P.S

Hiromi, I’m very interesting in learning all kinds of cultures. If you have time, could you introduce something about Japanese culture?

Why don’t we create an area to introduce our children or pets with a picture and a bit words?

Catherine said...

One more piece


“I’m very proud of you!”

As a Chinese, I’m very proud of my culture, but there is something I really don’t like.

My parents never praised their children, though they were proud of us in their minds.

If I got an A in the test, they would ask, “How many students got an A in your classes?”

If only I got an A in the class, they would say, “Could you get an A next time?”

Even I got another only one A in the class, they would say, “Don’t be proud! You may fall behind next time!”

Whatever how hard I studied, they never said, “We’re very proud of you!”

Can you imagine how frustrated I was?

In fact, not only my parents but also many Chinese have never said those words to their Children.

I understood why when I grew up because Chinese culture believes, “Modesty helps one to go forward, and conceit makes one lag behind.”

It is true, but the problem is many Chinese children are lacking self-confidence.

Canadians like to say, “Well done!” “Good job!” and “Excellent!” to their children that boosts up their confidence. Even students asked a very stupid question, their teachers would say, “Good question!”

Self-confidence is very important for a person. Chinese parents would like doing anything for their children including immigrate, why they can’t say, “I’m very proud of you!” to them?

Natalia said...

Hi Katherine,
I would like to join the voices that praise your writing.I enjoy it very much and share your opinion very often. Experience will come.
Have a very creative holiday!
Natalia

Catherine said...

Natalia,

Thank you very much!

As an immigrant, I really want to know how other immigrants study and live in Canada. How about you?

I’m thinking to write some immigrant stories in the future.

P.S

Correction of the last sentence:

Chinese parents would like doing anything for their children including immigrant, why can’t they say one more word to them—“I’m very proud of you!”?


A teaser for Cultural Differences:

Living in Canada, we do have many cultural differences. How much different, and how much you know about that?