"A Man Gets Off a Bus" Five Versions Exercise

Post your versions of one event:
A man gets off a bus, stumbles, looks around embarrassed and sees a woman, smiling at him. Post at least two different versions!

Read practical information about different points of view to help you get started.

Best Wishes

Hi, everyone: Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Brad's Edits: Latest Additions (January 8, 2007)

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NEW: Corrections to, "I Prefer," Catherine's List Poem
NEW: Corrections to, "Untitled," Larry's List Poem


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Corrections to "Choices," Ritsuko's List Poem
Corrections to "Possibilities," Helena's List Poem
Corrections to "Faith," May's List Poem
Edit of "Alone," May's Specific Vocabulary Story
Edit of "Casablanca," Helena's 13 Year Old
Edit of "A Wolf and a Little Girl," Choi's Specific Vocabulary Story
Edit of "A Custard Pudding," Ritsuko's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Swimmers," Catherine's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Note from Mathew C.," Hiromi's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Oh, Mary," Larry's 13 Year Old

List Poem: "I Prefer . . ."

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Following Szymborska's example, "Possibilities," post your very own list poem! Oh, and I prefer books over anything, so many thanks for the gift card . . .

Five Versions of One Event Exercise (REVISED)

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Post your versions of one event:
A man gets off a bus, stumbles, looks around embarrassed and sees a woman, smiling at him. Post at least two different versions!

Read practical information about different points of view to help you get started.

UPDATED: Trouble Logging In? Here's a SOLUTION

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Before you go to comments login by clicking on the Blogger "B." Be sure to click "remember me" so you won't need to login again.

You will have fewer problems if you download a copy of Firefox (browser).

Favorite Poem Project: Video Collection

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Fascinating videos of ordinary people explaining why they like a particular poem and then reading the poem aloud.
Favorite Poem Project Videos
(to see the videos, click on a title, then on the reader's picture)

Exercise Using a Specific Vocabulary

You must use the words in bold. Keep it short and try to make sense.

Colours: turquoise, green, pink, aquamarine, magenta, black, indigo, maroon

Place: Venice, Vancouver, New York, Deer Lake, Disney World, the seashore, Florida, Mexico

Breadbox sized object: spatula, ring, water bottle, book, a bomb, key, nail polish

Smell of: coffee, gasoline, curry, popcorn, money, bo body odour, milk, perfume, brownies, cookies, dirty socks

The sound of: trains, wind, mufflers, wolves, coyotes, people, motorcycles, clock

The taste of: cotton candy, chocolate, vanilla yogurt, Pringles, medicine, bile, blood, muffins

A nickname: honey bunny, sweetie pie, baby, buddy, devil, asshole, pumpkin (punkin), picky, dork, punk, dude

A fruit: papaya, watermelon, mango, pear, mandarin orange, peach, cherries, strawberries, blueberries, grapes

Something we wear: jeans, a ring, silk scarf, underwear, sweater, a tie, bowtie, eyeglasses, cosmetics, perfume, a tux

Something shiny: diamonds, a bald head, ice, hubcaps (car rims), eyes, a knife, stars, gold, salmon, teeth, sequins

An Exercise to Develop "Voice" in Writing

In order to develop a unique voice in your writing, write in the “voice” of an imagined character. Here’s an exercise to help you develop that voice in your writing. Post, also, the results of your exercise in using the voice of a 13 year old narrator (one page scene in the first person) from our class exercise.

Here's an edit of Catherine's example

Here's an edit of Hiromi's example

Here's an edit of Larry's example

“Think of a person that you've noticed, but don't know—a drugstore clerk, a bus driver, a politician, a celebrity. Using the first-person, write a two-page scene that describes a moment in the life that you imagine for that person. What is he/she thinking about? What matters to him/her? What doesn't? How does his/her mind work?”—Ali Smith; short story writer from England

Reader Comments for Brad's Story, "The Bike"

Something I wrote six years ago in an English 10 class. Uses the story, "The Trout" as a jumping off point.

"The Bike"

Reader Comments for Larry's Story, "Einstein"

Put your comments here for the story. You can use either reader-based or criterion-based (or both) as a guide. A copy of the story is available as the first comment.

Reader Comments for James' Story, "The Corner"

Put your comments here for the story. You can use either reader-based or criterion-based (or both) as a guide. A copy of the story is available as the first comment.

Reader Comments for Catherine's Story, "Dreamers"

Catherine posted a revision of her story last week, but because it hasn't a special "post" spot for comments, it seems to have been forgotten. I post a copy here in the first comment spot for you to see and comment on.

Reader Comments for Hiromi's story, "Her Own Two Feet"

Comments here:

Read an edit of the story by Brad in Word format, showing editing changes and commenting on strengths and weaknesses in the writing.

Reader Comments for "Cute Sonya"

Leave your comments here for Choi's story.

Reader Comments for "Once Upon a Time" (NEW DRAFT)

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Stacey's posted a new draft of her story with an ending as of last night. I moved it here so everyone finds it easily. Click on "Comments" to read it.

NEW: Brad's edit with suggestions.

Put Reader-Based Feedback Here for "Flying from Cuckoo nest"

Here's where you can comment for Suzanne's story, "Flying from Cuckoo nest"

Put Reader-Based Feedback Here for "The Warm Restaurant"

Add your comments here for Rosaria's story. Thanks!

Copying Text from Comments

Think you guys could use a lesson.

Select the text you want to copy. Use the "edit" then "copy" command or right click your mouse to open a menu and select copy.

Switch to or open Word or Notepad. For Word select "edit" and then "paste special" and choose "unformatted text." Notepad is easier, just "edit" then "paste"

Print it off and get out a pencil.

Lots of stories this week. Maybe an all class editing and critique is in order. We can save the Greek for next week!

Zeugma Zeugma Zeugma (Challenge Anyone?)

Simple: Use all the different kinds of zeugma on the sheet in a paragraph or two of a short story or just a scene.

Try to fit it in naturally.

Topics for a scene: anything you like. Only remember: Show, Don't Tell!

Critiquing, Submitting and Etc.

Hi All,

I'm enjoying the submissions to the two challenges but would like everyone to try to follow the directions more exactly. It makes it deliciously hard, I know, but that's the point! No fair to have a narrator filling in the back story or having dialogue in the action challenge!

You might try revising your original, following the rules more exactly. See what you get. Also, beware of "telling" or "telegraphing" in this kind of writing. We're not writing essays here, so we need to show, show, show and can trust our readers to fill in the "tell"!

Oh, and for every submission, please do a critique of another student. I can do some, but when a student jumps in it's better overall and also gives us access to lots of different opinions. So, one for one, if that makes sense.

Now, where are the rest of you? No fair always lurking (reading, but not writing). The class has lots of writers and we want to learn to write, so write more, more often and see yourself improve!

Short Story Basics: Post Your Ideas Here

Hi Everyone,

Looking forward to a rest on Thursday? Here's a place for you to post your sketchy story outline. Follow the worksheet, "Short Story Basics" and let us know what kind of story you are proposing.

For a first story, think in terms of 500 to 1 000 words or so (one or two pages).

Take a look at this story by Hemingway titled, "A Very Short Story" It's in Word format and may give you a security warning in your browser. It's ok to open, I'm sure.

NEW: Try Six Word Short Stories for ideas and fun!

Jealous: Character Challenge Two

Write, using only description of a person's actions, to show a person who is "jealous." According to Wordsmyth, jealous is "envious of the qualities, possessions, or achievements of another." It can also mean, "doubtful and suspicious of the faithfulness of someone for whom one has affection; fearful of losing the other's affection."

Obnoxious: Character Challenge One

Write, using only dialogue in about 50 to 100 words to show the trait, "obnoxious." According to Merriam Webster, "disgustingly objectionable : highly offensive." According to the Wordsmyth online dictionary: "extremely unpleasant or offensive; rude."

From an article on parenting obnoxious is described as "continually arguing, whining (adults whine too!), teasing, yelling or putting others down."

Be sure to have a character to respond to the obnoxious behaviour. Although children are often accused of this, adults can be just as obnoxious. Teachers see it when students make continual and unreasonable demands or who dominate in a classroom.

Writing a Short Story: Things to Consider

Hi Everyone,

Now that we've played around with a setting and at least begun to think about a character, it's time to consider a short story. Remember that stories can vary from as few as 500 words to thousands! Perhaps our best approach is to start with a "short short" style story.

On the web, one short story writer comes up repeatedly as the one you have to read to get ready. Many of Anton Chekhov's stories are barely more than a page long. Why not read a few?

Another short read is Writing the Short-Short Story. Refer to one or two of Chekhov's stories to see how he "sets the scene" and "introduces the main character." Copy him and you cannot go too far wrong!

Comment here on ideas you may have had for a story.

What does the main character want? What prevents him or her of getting it? (what obstacles stand in the way). Why does the character want it? (motive)

What might be shown to us (theme) by a character's struggle? Ideas?

See you on Thursday for more on first steps towards a story.

Bird by Bird: Writing a Setting

Here's where you can post your work in progress for comment and correction. Now that we've started, how might a character reveal him or her self through the details noticed? Read the snippet of Carol Shields' setting description carefully. If you dare, copy her rhythms and structures to come up with your own version. I did this in class one time and it worked quite well. What do you think?

"A brisk breeze entered from the windows, the fluorescent lights humming above the diligent, hard-working students. The room was spacious; it could only have been in an old Canadian high school, a place of wooden tables, plastic chairs, posters pinned to the walls, echoing voices of teachers." —written by Brad Hyde with ideas from the students.

Low Cost and Fun Writing Activity (Add Sunny Day)

Here's how:

Go to the nearest stationery store. Buy a small, spiral bound notebook with lined pages. Walk to and from the store if you can.

On the way back (or later), closely observe two locations. You might choose a place you like and another that you dislike. Take a good look. Slow down and notice things: maybe that fence needs painting. Or the 30 meter fir tree swaying in the wind. Whatever you see . . .

Write your impressions immediately into your notebook. If you have a digital camera, take a picture of the scene to aid your memory.

That's all. Oh, and do remember to walk in the sun this weekend.

Making Writing 12 Even Better: Your Ideas?

Using the "Revision and Writing Processes" sheet I gave you at the end of class, I invite your comments on any of the bulleted points. I especially invite you to respond to the last bullet with any ideas for activities you'd like to do.

I've had an idea since class (walking over to get my dinner). Have a "Greek Technique of the Week." The Greeks were great at rhetoric (and gave everything a name). We could do a 15 minute "mini" session and practice to help us learn some very time tested styles!

Comments Invited on Roger Angell, "Reflections: Old Country"

What do you think of Angell using an 81 word sentence followed by a 57 word sentence in his first paragraph?

Why might he do that? What is there to be gained?

Do you think it's effective?

What, in the sentences themselves, is the writer doing and what is being communicated? Pay particular attention to the longer one.

Note that he continues to use long sentences until the final paragraph. Then he doesn't. Why?

Answer any of the above in your comment. Or more than one if you wish.

Three Takes on September 11

Here's a link to the word file. I wrote each class along with you students.

Note that, though interesting, each one is imperfect. They are rambles, disconnected from a central focus.

Now, I have to find one for myself. I'd suggest you do as well.

Link opens a word document, "Sept11"

Welcome Writers!

Getting ready for this new course, I've been rereading my favourite writing teachers. Here are some words from Stephen King to get us started:

"I'm not asking you to come reverently or unquestioningly; I'm not asking you to be politically correct or cast aside your sense of humor (please God have one). This isn't a popularity contest, it's not the moral Olympics, and it's not church. But it's writing, damn it, not washing the car or putting on eyeliner. If you can take it seriously, we can do business. If you can't or won't, it's time for you to close the book and do something else. Wash the car, maybe."—Stephen King in his book, On Writing.