Comment on what you like about the sentences I've chosen and make a suggestion for a revision to at least one of the examples. Build on today's exercise!
“I would write about anything; by “anything” I mean I would write about the color of a slug, what time of day it was.”—Stacey
“It is like a digging a hole inside of me in search of an answer. I knock, dig, and examine what I have found.”—Hiromi
“I was writing scenarios for the student plays and special events, articles for the student news paper, and epigrams on my friends and professors.”—Natalia
“I enjoy creative activities: painting, craft, and cooking. However I like writing the best.”—Rosaria
“As you know, most Chinese people are introverted; they are not good at speaking out their feelings.”—Catherine
“If I would have written those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be richer than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.”—Larry
“Under the sea, I observe the creatures more thoughtfully than ever, thinking of how to write about them.”—Ritsuko
“The more I read and write, the more I feel satisfied with my life.”—Suzanne
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7 comments:
My original sentence is a little bit extreme like the word "most"; the meaning is not clear, too. So I made some changes. Welcome suggestions from you all!
Original:
“As you know, most Chinese people are introverted; they are not good at speaking out their feelings.”
Now:
Many Chinese like me are not good at speaking out their feelings, especially “I love you.”
I like the chosen examples because they reflect author’s style and personality and contain literature devices (except mine)
I try to make a revision to Larry’s sentence
Original
“If I would have written those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be richer than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.”—Larry
Revision
“If I had written down those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be richer now than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.”
I changed my mind today.
Many Chinese like me are not good at speaking out their feelings. Especially, it is a little bit embarrassed to say “I love you!” face to face.
See you later!
Why I Write
Why I Write? The answer is because I’m forced (at least, at most time.) I have to confess that I’m a lazy guy to do any paper work. To me, writing is a kind of torture. As an adult of forty-six, man and boy, I prefer telling to writing.
When I was young, from elementary school to university, I had to write homework and tests under the teachers’ compulsion. Even though my writings always got highest marks in the whole classes, I didn’t like to write. Since then, I had often dreamed that someday I would have a secretary who could write down and edit what I thought.
After graduating from university, I’ve written a lot. As I used to be, most time I wrote because I had to. I wrote everything that my bosses wanted. During my whole working period, I used to serve many bosses; all of them were satisfied very much with my writings but I just took it as a kind of my business.
Since I moved to Canada, I’ve returned to school. Different from the last time I was in school decades ago, I’m not young any longer; however, the nature of disliking writing stays unchanged. That’s why I’m often the last to hand out the test papers or post home work on our blog.
It seems that I like to use my legs better than using my hands. There often were a lot of ideas and stories flashing in my mind but I just wrote down few; I think if I would have written down all of them, I would be a well-known author in the world, might be richer than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.
--288 words
Greek Techniques:
“a leopard never changes its spots”—metaphor, proverb
“If I would have written those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be a well-known author in the world, might be richer than J.K.Rowling.”-- amplification
Hi All.
Sorry Brad that I didn't give you some notice about not being in class today. I had to go to the island to deal with some family issues. I will see all of you next Thursday. Have a nice weekend.
Stacey.
Dear Stacey,
We won’t have any class until February 8.
Catherine’s comment.
“As you know, most Chinese people are introverted; they are not good at speaking out their feelings.”
I feel that Catherine is speaking from a platform of authority on the subject. She comes from China. Her relatives are Chinese. She’s been exposed to this heritage most all of her life. In one instance I can relate to what Brad had to say on the subject. I believe what he was trying to say was that you cannot paint an entire race on the opinion of one; however Catherine would know more about it than Brad or I, and therefore be more of an authority on the idea.
“From my experience most Chinese people are introverted and unable to speak freely about their personal feelings.”
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