Something I wrote six years ago in an English 10 class. Uses the story, "The Trout" as a jumping off point.
"The Bike"
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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
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2006
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November
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- An Exercise to Develop "Voice" in Writing
- Reader Comments for Brad's Story, "The Bike"
- Reader Comments for Larry's Story, "Einstein"
- Reader Comments for James' Story, "The Corner"
- Reader Comments for Catherine's Story, "Dreamers"
- Reader Comments for Hiromi's story, "Her Own Two F...
- Reader Comments for "Cute Sonya"
- Reader Comments for "Once Upon a Time" (NEW DRAFT)
- Put Reader-Based Feedback Here for "Flying from Cu...
- Put Reader-Based Feedback Here for "The Warm Resta...
- Copying Text from Comments
- Zeugma Zeugma Zeugma (Challenge Anyone?)
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November
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5 comments:
Brad’s story “The Bike,” is a successful short story because of the reasonable setting, interesting plot, and the real character.
The ten years old boy John doesn’t follow his mother’s tip to lock his bike because it is an “awfully hot” day and he doesn’t want “standing in the hot sun”.
Interestingly enough, what does he do when it really happens? He “grabbed hold of his bike,” “jumped on and rode home as quickly as he dared.” Why he is so brave even the boy are “large” and “older” than himself? Because he knows their past—“the other boy was a simple lad”, and “one of those boys who went to the special class at school, one he had laughed at with his friends”. Everyone knows each other “in this small prairie town”.
After that he doesn’t tell his mother and feels that he is “a bit older somehow”
John is very smart and interesting boy isn’t he?
The hot day and a small town give the plot a reasonable setting; all of that make the character become a real one.
I like this story especially the setting which attracted me most because there were 5 sense strongly evaporated and grasped to the readers' empathy. Comparing with the present articles you have written which have shown skillfully different. At present, you jumped out the conventional bondage already,and it brings you to a wider forum to express yourself profoundly.
A good story! It made me recalled a lot of things I had experienced when I was a boy. I think that most kids have had similar experiences like little Brad, oh sorry, should be John. That is, the older or larger lad wanted to take some possession from younger boys by force. When I encountered such kind of things, I usually claimed that Primer Minister was my uncle, or the big brother of Hells Angels was my brother-in-law. As soon as hearing that, those rascals would run away as fast as a rabbit. Yes, every time when we beat the older guys, we used to feel“strangely important, however, and a bit older somehow.”
The "unlocked" bike makes an "strangely important" journey of becoming a man in boy's experience. This gaining of authority asks for a price. Any surprise helps us learning something important.
A very cute story and a heart-felt quality!
Hi Brad,
This story is very interesting and it has unique setting, which reminds me my childhood. The story’s main character John is kind of brave kid, who did not give up and won the conflict.On the other hand, he is very neglect kid because he did not fallow his mother’s advice.
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