Linda's Scene
a) A scene starts and ends in one place at one time (the Aristotelian unities of time and place–this stuff goes waaaayyyy back). b) A scene starts in one place emotionally and ends in another place emotionally. Starts angry, ends embarrassed. Starts lovestruck, ends disgusted. c) Something happens in a scene, whereby the character cannot go back to the way things were before. Make sure to finish a scene before you go on to the next. Make something happen.
3 comments:
“What do you do for a living?” I asked him
Before he could answer me, a gorgeous, strawberry blond woman began to approach us.
“Pardon me - you’ll have to excuse us for a moment.”
“No, not at all” I said.
She was a bombshell with a black body-tight dress hemmed just above the knee, showing perfectly formed calf’s flowing into high heel open toe shoes. She was carrying a black briefcase with gold trim.
I noticed her handing over the briefcase to him as she whispered in his ear, occasionally looking back at me. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I became suspicious; questioning their relationship, was she his wife, friend or co-worker?
I was surprised that he knew a woman of such stunning beauty; with his balding head and crooked teeth, I couldn’t see her more than just an acquaintance. I was determined to find out and what was in that briefcase?
“Oh, God . . . What am I doing in here, wasn’t I supposed to kill him?”
She said to herself when she realized she lied beside him on his bed.
Yes, she is a contract killer and he was the target—at least, she thought he was. Before she met him, she was a senseless killer: no smiles, no mercy, and most of all, no tears. After her foster parents died with mysteriously, she cried no more. Perhaps . . . Yes, perhaps, that’s why she decides to become a contract killer . . . to pay them back what they did to her foster parents.
But that wasn’t easy . . . After all, that order was truly from her birth parents. Her name is Nori Kim, and she was supposed to kill Toby J. Lee.
They met in the coffee shop: actually, she came to him intentionally. When she met him, she dropped her coffee cup to his shirt, and didn’t say anything, he fell in love at first sight. Maybe . . . yes, maybe that was her plan after all.
But she couldn’t because she loves him now, and she now knows it’s too late to kill him.
-206 words.
Winter sunshine lightly illuminated the bustling high street and the shopping people, running vehicles. Min gazed at the grocery on the corner of crossroad when the sun reflected a sharp ray of light from the signboard on his iron-gray shield of helmet while waiting for the traffic lights on his secondhand 250cc motorcycle.
The man was stooping in the grocery's front door lifting up a massive basket of fresh vegetables, sweet fruits, vary canned food, gunny bags of rice, and then fastening it on the black rear rack of the motorcycle.
"Kid's mom, I'm hitting the road!" He shouted.
While the woman was busy with greeting customers, she still turned around to nod to the man with a smile.
A little girl ran out of the store with a wave of her hand. "Dad, take care!"
"Go inside quickly! Too many cars, it’s dangerous on the road." The man warned her.
This scene reminded Min something he had ever possessed but finally lost. A gust of cool wind cruelly pierced into his bones. The hurt was more painful than the scar on his left cheek, which was slantingly engraved near the ear as long as his eyebrow. Under the dark helmet, the shield, his sorrowful look couldn't conceal the regretful past.
"I would have still owned that store if I hadn't went astray." A voice went off in his head.
--230 words
Post a Comment