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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
11 comments:
part one:
The last Friday afternoon in April 2005 was busy for May. She had to cook early because she had a PTA meeting at 6:30, and her husband was working on night shift. He had been working in a warehouse since the family moved to this new country. It was not his ideal job though; he was a mechanic engineer in his hometown. But now, his past working experience and education background are not certified in this country; what choice could he have? May sighed lightly while her hands were still busy chopping pork ribs. This evening she planned to cook steamed pork chops with oyster sauce and black bean sauce as a main dish, and salted Chinese broccoli with chopped garlic as a side dish. Jim loved this—he always ate the seconds—and he has eaten even more these days. May smiled when she thought about him.
When May served dinner to the table, Jim and his father were already sitting there. Jim was playing with chopsticks trying to spin them with his fingers, while his dad lowered his head reading Globe And Mail. As May sat besides the table, Jim quickly handed everyone a bowl of rice. May put some pork ribs into Jim’s bowl and said: “Eat more, don’t you like to eat pork ribs?”
“Don’t spoil him,” her husband frowned, “he can do it himself.”
Jim finished dinner quietly without asking to refill his rice bowl, and went up stairs, leaving his parents by the table. May was a little worried about this father-son relationship. There had been a tension between them since they moved to Vancouver.
“Ask his teacher how he is doing in the school,” the father said with his mouth full, “ I want to know everything about him,” he said. “And he’d better be good this time,” he added.
“You bet.” May refilled the empty bowl with rice and handed to her husband. She tried to start a light conversation, “What do you think about going to Science’s World on Sunday? Jim had asked several times and you were always busy.” she added, “It is a good chance you and he can get along with each other. You have been too tough for him, Mr. Scary. ”
It was true since Jim was born that May and her husband always played different roles for parenting. When Jim was a grumpy toddler, it was time for daddy to be a “Mr. Scary”, warning him, threatening him. At same time, May liked to play a role as a caring and over protected mother (that is why her husband teased her a Mama Bear.). It worked all the time though. May was proud of the fact that Jim had a closer relationship to her. But now, May thinks that Jim is growing up day after day, it’s time to change the role. Boys must learn something from their father. As May thinking of the parenting, his husband had finished the dinner. He left the table, taking up his coat and said: “ Ok, if you said we should go; then we will go.” He winked at May, “ God night, Mama Bear,” then left home. May smiled with her eyes following her husband’s leaving. She started to think about PAT meeting. How wrong could Jim be? She thought, he had been a nice kid all the time.
part two:
When May arrived at the school conference room, there were already full of parents and school staffs. The ceiling light casted a soft sheen everywhere in the room where parents were chatting to each other. May found a corner seat and sat down. She had hesitation to socialize with those Caucasian parents, not only because of her poor English, but for she didn’t know what to talk. But she wouldn’t regret to settle her family in this white culture community. She thought it would be good for Jim to improve his English.
The principal’s speech was echoing in her ears, but May seemed not paying any attention to this. Her mind was still idling. She always did this when she attended PTA meeting. What she waited for was to talk with Jim’s teacher, to know what marks Jim got, or if he was the top rank in the class, or may be something else, if there was any. She was a little surprised when she found those were not the teacher’s interests. Ms. Mall, she remembered the name of Jim’s elementary school teacher, had more concerns on Jim’s overall development. She knew that Ms. Mall was a responsible and kindhearted teacher. May always appreciated what Ms. Mall had done to her son, even though she was once judged by Ms. Mall: “I don’t want to know how good your writing is, what I am concerned is how good your son’s writing is.” “Please don’t help your son by writhing his homework for him.” Ms. Mall required. That was when Jim was in his first year in English speaking school at grade 4. He had a difficulty to write in English. And he strongly rejected to go to school unless May promised to help him doing his English homework. This little trick soon terminated after her meeting with Ms. Mall. She didn’t regret for doing this trick. What else could I do? I don’t want to push him too hard. May had no worry about Jim’s science subjects. The only problem was his English, she thought.
Soon her thoughts were interrupted by the rustling sound in the room. She saw all the parents moving to the front table where the snacks and coffee had been served. She knew it was time to meet Jim’s teacher. May walked to the table, tried to seek out who would be Jim’s teach. As she had a plate with a cup of tea and a piece of chocolate cake, a teacher-like man approached her, “ Excuse me, Mam, are you Jim’s mother?”
part three:
“Yes, I am.” May replied. She noticed he had gray hair which looked nice under the light.
The Man reached out his hand and said, “ I am Mr. White, Jim’s English teacher.”
“Oh, I have been looking for you. I hope Jim is doing well in the school.” May tried to start the conversation, a little nervous.
“Well, we have a little difficult time adjusting, the first term or so, Mr. White said friendly, “but now he is making progress, with lapses, of course.”
May wasn’t sure what lapse meant, but she supposed that wouldn’t be a bad word, so she continued, “Jim usually adjusts very quickly.”
Mr. White seemed not interesting in going on this topic, he looked primly and said meticulously, “ Mam, would you mind if I ask a question about your family? Is your family having any financial difficulty?”
May felt very confused, but she answered anyway, “No, not at all. Why did you ask?”
“We found Jim did not have lunch in the school recently, and he nodded off over his desk in my class several times,” said Mr. White, “we have a concern about Jim’s health.”
May was in shock, and her voice was trembling with the effort of control, “I don’t know what happened to Jim’s lunch. But I did packed his lunch every morning.” She paused awhile and felt embarrassed as if she was like the abusive step-mother being judged by Mr. White.
“ Don’t worry, sometimes kids are just doing unreasonable things,” Mr. White said kindly, “perhaps, you should talk to Jim and see what’s going on.”
“Sure, I will talk to him, and I promise it won’t happen again, Mr. White.”
part four;
May left the school and walked home quickly. She couldn’t believe her little Jimmy cheating on her. The gusts of anger went up and down inside of her body, which made her almost cry.
When she came home, it was 9 pm. The house was unusually quiet. Jim used to watch Spider Man in the living room this time, but he wasn’t there. May went upstairs and found Jim’s room closed. She entered the room without knocking the door. Jim was lying on his bed, and his eyes closed tightly. May sat by his bed, trying hard to control her rage, “Jim, open your eyes. I know you are faking sleep. Tell me what you did to you lunch.”
Jim turned his head to the wall and said in low voice, “ I gave it to Bobby.” May remembered Bobby was the only Asian student Jim mentioned to her. “But, why?”
“ I don’t want to eat garlic meals,” Jim said.
“What?” May shouted without pause. “Garlic is good to your health. You like to eat garlic meals, right? And you eat more at home.”
“But I don’t what others calling me smelly boy,” Jim lashed out, and turned his face to his mother. May saw tears in his eyes. She felt her heart sore and somehow her anger smoothed down. May lowered her head towards Jim and ruffled his soft hairs.
“Tell me what you would like to eat for lunch. Pizza, Pasta, Hamburger, or what else?”
“Pasta,” Jim grinned sheepishly, “but daddy hates pasta, and I don’t want you to cook too hard,” he added.
“Don’t worry. Your mother is a master chef,” May smiled and stretched out her little finger, “promise me, you will not give away your lunch.”
“I promise.” Jim intertwined his little finger with his mother.
May stood up and walked to the door. Before she closed the door, she suddenly turned around, “Daddy said we will go to Science’s World on Sunday.”
“Yeah!” Jim bounded from his bed and fell down with joy. As May closed the door, she heard Jim said, “Thank you, Mom.”
May went to the living room and turned on TV. She switched to 56, the food channel. When she was watching a man cooking BBQ hamburger, she murmured, “ I can do this, and I will.”
--the end
Short Story Plot Development – so far
Hero = Nick
Hero 2 = Anna
Villain = Yuri
Nick is a computer genius able to hack into any network he chooses. He was just released from jail for hacking into a top secret government network. Yuri and Anna are a couple of Russian thieves and see value in Nick’s hacking ability. They find Nick and ask him to team up with them for a big crime job. Nick learned his lesson and refuses the possibility of going back to jail. Yuri threatens to kill him if he doesn’t comply. Gorgeous Anna, on the other hand, uses her beauty and charm to seduce Nick. Yuri has a thing for Anna and becomes very jealous of good-looking Nick. Anna successfully convinces Nick but secretly falls in love with him.
Late one night, Yuri, Anna and Nick successfully break into a bank. Nick hacks into the bank system and transfers 37.3million dollars into Anna’s off-shore bank account. Just as Nick hits the enter key to finish the transfer, Yuri pulls a gun on him and says, “Looks like ve von’t be needink your services any longer my friend heh heh.” Then Anna screams, “Yuri! Vhat are you doing?!”“Shut up Anna! This vay ve vill have more money vor us!“ he says. Anna, changing to a sexier tone says, “Yuri darrr-link, I love it vhen you’re so shmart,” as she runs her finger along his cheek. It looks like poor Nick has been used and is about to lose his life, but wait…
Distracted by Anna’s sexy attention, Yuri turns his head to look at her. Nick notices his chance and jumps behind the desk. Yuri becomes furious and throws Anna against the wall, firing his gun at Nick, shooting him in the leg. Just as Yuri is ready to fire the fatal shot, Anna shoots Yuri in the back with her gun and he drops dead on top of Nick. She quickly grabs Nick in her arms and cries, “are you all right darrr-link?” They both, then, fly to a secluded South American beach and live happily ever after with millions. The End. - 342 words
-partⅠ-
“Oh, God . . . What am I doing in here. Wasn’t I supposed to kill him?”
She said to herself when she realized she laid beside him on his bed.
Yes, she is a contract killer and he was the target—at least, she thought he was. Before she met him, she was a senseless killer: no smiles, no mercy, and most of all, no tears.
After her foster parents died mysteriously, she cried no more. Perhaps . . . Yes, perhaps, that’s why she decided to become a contract killer . . . to paid them back what they did to her foster parents.
But that wasn’t easy . . . After all, that order was truly from her birth mom. Her name is Nori Kim, and she was supposed to kill Toby J. Lee.
They met in the coffee shop: actually, she came to him intentionally. When she met him, she dropped her coffee cup to his shirt, and didn’t say anything; he fell in love at the first sight. Maybe . . . yes, maybe that was her plan after all.
But she couldn’t kill him because she loves him now, and she now knows it’s too late to kill him.
Right after Nori was born, her birth mom abandoned little Nori like a trash because she didn’t want her to be born at all. You see, her mom, Hayaki, was engaged to some renowned Japanese zaibetu, a conglomerate. But she fell in love with commoner first, and decided to have a child together.
But as it turned out that, he was a married man and she was nothing. So, she tried to have abortion. But when she entered gynecology, she couldn’t go through it. So, she decided to keep it, but then after Nori was born, she decided to abandon her like a trash.
So, there she was with her newborn baby, Nori. And right after she was born, she went somewhere. So, there they were, standing in front of her friend’s house, Myra, because she immediately knew her friend desperately want her own child, and she thought this baby could be her child, and would take a good care of her. As soon as left her baby at the doorstep, Myra came up to the doorstep:
“Oh, hi. . . So good to see you. What are you doing here at this hour, won’t you come in?”
“Oh, nothing. . . Nothing at all.” As Hayaki said it, she quickly hid Nori under her downy jacket.
“Well, come on in . . . Honey, look who’s dropping by. You know Hayaki, right?”
To be continued...
-partⅠ-
“Oh, God . . . What am I doing in here. Wasn’t I supposed to kill him?”
She said to herself when she realized she laid beside him on his bed.
Yes, she is a contract killer and he was the target—at least, she thought he was. Before she met him, she was a senseless killer: no smiles, no mercy, and most of all, no tears.
After her foster parents died mysteriously, she cried no more. Perhaps . . . Yes, perhaps, that’s why she decided to become a contract killer . . . to paid them back what they did to her foster parents.
But that wasn’t easy . . . After all, that order was truly from her birth mom. Her name is Nori Kim, and she was supposed to kill Toby J. Lee.
They met in the coffee shop: actually, she came to him intentionally. When she met him, she dropped her coffee cup to his shirt, and didn’t say anything; he fell in love at the first sight. Maybe . . . yes, maybe that was her plan after all.
But she couldn’t kill him because she loves him now, and she now knows it’s too late to kill him.
Right after Nori was born, her birth mom abandoned little Nori like a trash because she didn’t want her to be born at all. You see, her mom, Hayaki, was engaged to some renowned Japanese zaibetu, a conglomerate. But she fell in love with commoner first, and decided to have a child together.
But as it turned out that, he was a married man and she was nothing. So, she tried to have abortion. But when she entered gynecology, she couldn’t go through it. So, she decided to keep it, but then after Nori was born, she decided to abandon her like a trash.
So, there she was with her newborn baby, Nori. And right after she was born, she went somewhere. So, there they were, standing in front of her friend’s house, Myra, because she immediately knew her friend desperately want her own child, and she thought this baby could be her child, and would take a good care of her. As soon as left her baby at the doorstep, Myra came up to the doorstep:
To be continued...
Winter sunshine lightly illuminated the bustling high street and the shoppers, speeding vehicles. Min gazed at the grocery on the corner of crossroad when the sun reflected a sharp ray of light from the signboard on his iron-gray shield of helmet while waiting for the traffic lights on his used motorcycle.
The man was stooping in the grocery's front door lifting up a massive basket of cabbages, carrots, onions, potatoes, oranges, melons, tuna cans, some bags of rice, and then fastening it on the black rear rack of the motorcycle.
"Su, I'm hitting the road!" he shouted.
While the woman, called Su, was busy with greeting customers, she still turned around to nod to the man with a smile. A little girl ran out of the store toward the man with a wave of her hand. "Dad, take care!"
"Go inside quickly! Too many cars, it's dangerous on the road." The man warned her.
This scene reminded Min something he had before but finally lost. A gust of cool wind cruelly pierced into his bones. The hurt was more painful than the scar on his left cheek, which was slantingly engraved near the ear as long as his eyebrow. Under the dark helmet, the shield, his sorrowful look couldn't conceal the regretful past.
"I would have still owned that store if I hadn't went astray." A voice went off in his head.
*A COUPLE YEARS AGO*
Min rolled down the iron shutter door of his store. The sound almost could break the silence in the dark. Min's grocery was always opened late, the last one to shut at this street. In his neighbours’ eyes, he was a good man—responsibility, industriousness, friendliness while in his mind, he always told to himself, "I wants to be rich, super rich, and one day, I'll be."
After checking the lock, lights, everything security carefully, he mounted his motorcycle and rode to a beer bar which he and his buddies frequently visited, for Ron, his best friend in his childhood, had invited him for a drink.
Ron used to borrow money from Min and some of his friends for living for quite a long time after he lost his job, but he changed only within one year—living in a luxurious loft in a high-rise (at downtown near Taipei 101, the most expensive district,) driving BMW and Benz, and sending his children to London and New York studying abroad. Ron had what Min wanted. They actually hadn't seen each other since Ron got busy. Min suspected what made Ron successful.
"I want to introduce a friend to you. He is just the man who helps me." Ron's words in the phone sounded really interested to him and still whirling on his head while he was on his way.
When he was parking his motorcycle in frond of the beer bar, he saw Ron had been already inside there, and beside him, sitting a man, looked like at the age of fifties, with dark skin, bare hair, high cheekbones, a moustache, and a pair of narrow eyes.
"Hey, Min. This is Polo. Polo, this is my best buddy—Min."
Polo sent a cigarette to Min. While he was lighting the cigarette, he said, "Ron told me you want to make big money, eh? I'm very straight, so let's just say it. I need a head to handle my private Lotto business in Taiwan. The headquarters is in Kowloon Tong, HongKong. You would replace Ron's position if you are interested.”
"I'm moving to Shanghai to deal with some business." Ron interposed.
"Think about it. This is my card."
"Lotto..." Although Min bought the lottery tickets regularly and won small prizes occasionally, he never got a private draw. So, he, of course, never had the idea to do a business like that.
"It might be a good opportunity for me." He discussed with May, his wife.
"But it's probably illegal. It's private lotto." May worried.
"Look at Ron, he has a so good life right now. How enviable! We would move to a mansion, have one or two brand cars, employ a foreign maid to do all housework and a tutor to help Pearl and Lily study at home. We also could travel abroad often. You have the dream to go around the world, haven't you?" Min tried to convinced May as well as himself.
to be continued...
As Hayaki entered the house, she immediately felt comfortable. As always, Myra dressed neatly, and there were cookies on the coffee table and teas. And, as she remembered it, it looked the same: the same couch, same curtains, same dining table, everything was the same, and it seemed like she was the only one who changed.
“Here, have some tea. . .”
“Oh, thank you . . .”
“Look at you, it must be cold outside. Honey, can you bring me some more woods to burn?”
“Oh, no. . . I must be going. . .” As Hayaki turned around, Myra heard little Nori crying.
“Did you hear something, Hon?”
“Hum? What?”
“I think I heard a baby crying, I must be crazy to hear such a thing like that.”
“No, you are right . . .” As Hayaki said it, she unrevealed her baby out of her downy jacket.
“Oh my goodness! Look, Honey. It’s a baby! And what a cute baby this is . . .”
As Myra wanted to see little Nori more closely, Tayashi pulled Myra to his side.
“Would you like to take care of her?” Hayaki blurted out.
And without any thinking, and any consent from Tayashi, she said yes.
Her husband looked at her wife surprisingly because Myra always wanted to have her own child. And because since she couldn’t have any child of her own, she sometimes brought a child from the street and pretended to be her own child. And every time, she was in a trouble for child abduction and her husband, Tayashi, was always there to help her. And as always, he didn’t say much. Now here she was, holding little Nori in her arms comfortably.
“Oh, look. Honey, she smiled at me! So cute, isn’t she?”
“Um, Yeah. Sure. . .” As he said it, he bent his knees to look at the woods burning well.
“Won’t you like to hold her?” She said it excitedly.
“Look, I have to go.” said Hayaki.
“Oh, really?” Myra looked at her sadly, knowing little Nori had to give back to her birth mom.
As she handed little Nori back to her birth mother. Hayaki said,
“I meant it, really. . . You’ll be the perfect person if I have a child, and look, she’s crying. . . Even when I’m trying to hold her, you’re born to be a mother.”
As Hayaki handed little Nori back to Myra, she was so happy to see her again. And decided that no matter what, she would take care of her and would even die for her. So as soon as Hayaki left, Tayashi looked at her wife and their “new” child without any sound.
“Aw. . . Look, she’s yawning. She must be really tired, let’s go to bed. I’m getting tired too.”
“Ok, hon.”
As they climbed the stairs, he noticed she held her child with extra care.
“Sleep tight, my little angel. . .” She smiled and kissed her child forehead lightly, and turned off the lights.
Here he was, watching his wife sleeping by his side. As always, he didn’t say anything because he knew what his wife, Myra, was capable of.
Because years ago, when she heard she couldn’t have any child because of her husband didn’t have any sperms, she cried and whined as if she was the one who didn’t have any eggs. And because of that reason, she once cut herself while he was on his business trip. So, here he was touching Myra’s sewed wrist softly, and he held his and her hands together to sleep.
And there she was on the street, walking away her own beloved child, she felt sorry and regretful.
Only. . . Only if she didn’t meet him and only if only she not decided to have a child together. Little Nori would be hers, and not Myra’s. But it’s too late now, regret made her only feel guilty, and felt sorrier to her child. No more regrets, and no more feeling guilty she decided. “What’s past is past, and all she has to do is focus on her future,” she said to herself. Here she was, the next day, tried in a white wedding dress. Looking very beautiful, and pretty. And here he was, the groom, not knowing anything, smiling happily to his future wife-to-be. She didn’t feel any guilty because she knows that her friend, Myra, would keep her secrets, and promised to her that she would take good care of her little child.
to be continued...
Right after she married to her husband, she immediately left Japan with her husband to the U.S to support her husband. When she arrived there, she immediately wanted to have her own baby, her own baby. . . Yes, her own baby, not her “forbidden child.” So, here she was with her husband at the hospital to check before having their child.
And year later, when Nori was about 5 years old, Hayaki arrived in Japan with her family, she suddenly wanted to meet Myra, and to see Myra’s daughter. Yes, “Myra’s child, not Hayaki’s.” So here she was, in front of her house again, remembering the painful memory. Suddenly from the back of her, she heard,
“Hello. . .”
“Oh, hi. Little girl, how are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
From the look of her, Hayaki was sure that the little girl was definitely Myra’s: maybe, she wanted to believe that desperately.
“Mom, I’m home!”
“Hi, Nori.”
As Myra said it, she hugged Nori tightly, and she hugged her mom back sweetly.
“Mom, did you know some elder woman is standing outside?”
“Oh, really?”
As Myra looked outside to see, she heard from the driveway,
“Hi, girlfriend. How’s it going?” in English.
“Oh, hi. . . Hayaki, long time no see. . . Well, come on in.”
She startled and spoke to her in English shyly.
“Why, thank you.”
As they sat down in a dining table to chat, Hayaki started to talk.
“Oh, here your present. . . I totally forgot your birthday, you know. . . It’s the strangest thing.”
As she talked, she smiled, but not any kind of smile—it was more like smirk, no better yet, it’s “I’m better than you” kind of smile back at Myra.
Myra was always like this—she smiled elegantly, and dressed neatly. And she hated that because even when she was in high school, she was popular with the boys, but Hayaki wasn’t. So she always thought that she was a sly fox to deny all the boys.
But here she was, a homemaker. Her face was a mess, probably she didn’t even wash her face. And there she was, sitting opposite side of her, wore a luxurious clothes and blingbling around her neck and wrist to show her off.
To be continued. . .
-1,587 words.
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