Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Eve's Story, "Outdoor Cat" EDITED

As you know, one student (who wins the lucky draw!) receives a full edit each week. Eve submitted her story, all 1627 words! View my comments, suggestions and corrections here: "Outdoor Cat-edited" BTW, once your name is drawn, it is removed so others have a better chance.

1 comment:

Eve Yan said...

Outdoor Cat

Being empty nest, Peter and Susan eventually got the chance to enjoy their couple life again. They love to go restaurant together. Both of them noticed some of the older couples, mostly in their 80’, sat on the same table, both doing their own things, and never talked with each other.

“How sad could that be” Peter Talked to his wife, “Those couple has been married for half of a decade, but they don’t seem to be happy.”

“Yes, both of them don’t look happy. I wish it wouldn’t happen to our life.” Susan answered thoughtfully.

Some people said once you pass the age of thirties, people are more content about the way they are, and stay in that situation for the rest of their life.

Peter and Susan are university sweet heart and got married after university graduation. Susan became a nurse in the St. Paul Hospital and Peter found a job at International Trading Company.

At the age of 22, Peter became a father of a baby boy and three years later, they had a baby girl. Susan and Peter both worked, they bought a house at the age of 25.

Thirty-five years later, both of their children all grown up, their daughter got married and moved out. Their son still remained single.

In fPetert of other people’s eyes, both Peter and Susan are such happy couple - they always talked with each other and laughed together. They always invited people to have party in Peter’s house; Susan make really delicious cake. Each year, both of them went out for a family vacation.

Susan never noticed Peter was not happy sometimes, he liked to sit alone in the coffee shop, In stead of usual cheerful face, his face was clouded with pain. He knew that their happy marriage was based on one condition that was to let her wife have her way – she must have it, and may it be as well.

On an ordinary day, Peter and Susan sat in fPetert of the TV, they were watching a Comedy. A dialogue appeared on the screen attracted Peter’s attention.

“I have lots of friends; we played together when we were young and single. Later on all my friends got married. There was only me who didn’t get married. Every time, when I went out together with my friends and their wives, I felt a sort of tension between me and their wives. All my friends admire me so much for my freedom of being a single. On me, they saw the person before they got married. But, there was good news for all the married man: ‘Married men live longer than single men.’ Guess Why? The answer is indoor cats live longer than outdoor cats - indoor cats spend all their time looking out the window at all the birds and squirrels they can’t chase, while outdoor cats chase everything that moves. So, would you rather be a indoor cat and live longer/healthier or the outdoor cat that chases life?” Both of them laughed and laughed.

The familiar pain flooded his heart again. It seemed like God was talking to him in a personal way. There was no way he can escape. All of these years, the marriage was all about compromise: he let her make decision for almost everything. But, was he really happy? No, definitely not, he just knew it. The trip they took last year to Alaska, Peter really want to go Mexico, but his wife wanted to go Alaska, so they ended up going Alaska. He really tired of compromise.

Ever from that TV show, there was always tension happened around the house. Susan loves the house to be tiny and clean all the time, so that she constantly vacuumed and dusted the place, sometimes, it drove Cindy (the outdoor cat) into nuts. It was lovely sunny day in August; Peter looked outside the window and said:

“Hi, honey, how about we go outside and have a walk, since the weather is so nice?”

Susan hesitated, “No, I have so many things to do in the house, and I have to make the garden today, otherwise the weeds will grow into neighbour’s property.”

“Ok, fine, I guess, I will just go out myself.” Peter sighed and went out the door himself. Having a walk has become his habit lately. Last night, Peter woke up at the mid night, his heart started pumping heavily and he realized he had a nervous breakdown. Without Susan’s notice, he went outside to have a brisk walk in the dark night. The quietness of the street eventually calmed him down.

When Peter stepped into the house, the familiar feeling from last night came back to attach him again. Susan was there sitting on the sofa, wearing a grumpy face. “There are always so many things to do inside the house, and I never got anytime to do anything.”

“Nobody asked you to, you did it all yourself, I was just asking you out for a walk” Peter eventually had the courage to challenge his wife.

“How dare you say that? I am just doing everything for the family.” She could not believe those words from the usual submissive husband’s mouth.


It was a typical Vancouver rainy day, Peter liked to close the curtain and turn on all the lights in the bedroom. Just before he made himself cozy and forgot about the rain outside, Susan stepped into the room

“Why is that so dark here, why do you close the curtain, you don’t have to turn on the lights during the day time.” Susan screamed.

A lots of quarrel happened in the family, something like where to put the table, when to eat the dinner. Whenever Peter said something opposite her idea, she got so mad, and kept on quarrelling, even though Susan was always the one who finished the sentence, but she was not at all happy - something had changed in this house.

Ken (their son) came to visit Peter and Susan and he stayed overnight in their house. The next day morning, Susan said few times to Peter before the breakfast:

“Ken need to renew the ICBC licence today.”

During the breakfast, Susan kept on talking to Ken: “Ken, you need to renew your licence today.”

“You don’t have to say that for so many times” Peter was annoyed.

That was it. Susan took off and drove the car away in anger.

By the night, Susan still didn’t come back home, Peter asked his son to call his mother. When Ken hanged up the phone, Peter asked, “What did your mother say?”

“She said she will be staying in her brother’s place for a while, after she came back, she wanted to have a divorce with you.”

“Oh” Peter’s reaction was awful calm, it seemed he knew it was coming.

“What happened between you and Mom?” Ken asked

“You know that, son, when Mom and Dad married very young, when I was 25 years old, I already had you and your sister, bought a big house and had a big mortgage.”

That was silence, Peter continued.

“My son, sometimes, I am jealous about you, you are 35 years old now, and still remain single, you got to travel anywhere you want, join the soccer team, play diving, skiing, mountain biking. Those are all the things I have missed.”

“Dad, I know that, that is why I still remain single, I don’t wan to marry as earlier as you do.” Ken said.

That was the first Christmas after Peter and Susan separated. He felt awful lonely. He called Susan the first time after nearly one year of silence.

“Hi, Susan, you know this is the first Christmas we are going to spend without being with each other, do you have any plan?”

“No, I will probably make a dinner at home, why don’t you come over and we can have a dinner together.” Susan said.

Peter went that night to Susan’s apartment, she made him the dinner. Peter asked her the question that was in his mind for so long time, but he still cares about his wife and asked “How is life lately?”

Thee is a subtle smile on her face “You know what, to be honest, I never know I could still be happy by living alone, and I am glad we don’t need to be like the older couple we used to see in the restaurant.”

“Yes, life is so short, we will all die one day, maybe twenties years down the road, it is too short to be sad, I can be sad for the rest of my life and for exchange for a name of ‘good husband’ or I can choose to live a full life” Peter was glad he has the chance to explain himself.

Susan reached out to hold Peter’s hand, “you don’t need to say anything, I understand”

Both of them know they still care about each other, they know if anything happened to one of them, they will be there for each other. It is just they couldn’t live under the same roof any more.

Joey and Cindy are both of the cats they petted, Cindy is an outdoor cat, he went outside everyday to chase everything that moved, after both couple sold the house, Peter moved to a loft at New Westminster Quay and Susan bought a apartment at Delta. Cindy stayed with Susan, and Joey stayed with Peter. Cindy cried two weeks everyday at Susan’s apartment, he really missed the outdoor life he used to have, and he slowly turning insane. Eventually, Susan had to give him away to a friend who owns a house. Cindy recovered eventually and continued enjoying her outdoor life.


1627 words