Thursday, November 20, 2008
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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
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2008
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November
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- Introductions to Essays Selected for Publication
- Online Notebook for November 28 to December 4
- 100 Word Place Description with NO Adjectives
- Online Notebook for November 20 to 27
- The Caption Contest
- Online Notebook for November 13-20
- In the Beginning: A Dilemma
- Discovering a Story through a Character
- Online Notebook for November 6-13
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November
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16 comments:
How can i describe something without using adjectives? examples please.Thank You..
Example:
He lifted the cloth and looked under it. The dust he'd stirred up settled on everything, his hat, his hair, the end of the pistol he held in his left hand. Above him a chandelier swung back and forth in the wind that shrieked through the rafters. He lifted his foot and strode forward through the door and into the hallway. He blinked his eyes to clear the dust and squinted. The door swung shut behind him. He heard a voice, like needles under his skin. It made the hairs on his head rise to attention.
97 words; no adjectives
He looks at him straight in the eye. He is ready to put his face on the ground-to knock him out. He now positions his fist. He is waiting for the right moment to attack. The opponent is grabbing every opportunity.He hits him,blow after blow.But just like what his idol had said, he flies like a butterfly, gentle and fragile but also he is furious and would sting like a bee.One . . . two . . . three . . .The game is over. With one left straight left, a right hook and and a left upper cut. He knocked the opponent down- a perfect combination of punches.
Hi Marc,
Good description, but there is no "place" here. Although I used a character, he interacts with the environment and so you understand the setting in this way. Try again!
Hello... this is my attempt to write 100 words place description without using any adjective, i hope u like it...^^*
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When Tim walked into the corpse room on tiptoe, the door squeaked, and the room was like a den. Rows of the boxes on both sides and corpse were out to see. As he saw this, he felt his legs knocking together, and his teeth clattering.
"What are you doing here?" said the guard. Echoing, walking towards to Tim.
"Um, I’m the professor of this department, and I’m here to get the…" he said this.
As he said this, he grabbed the mass, and stabbed into guard’s stomach.
"I’m sorry, I have no choice. I’m sorry~" He ran.
Words:98.
Lynn Canny
I like Lynn canny. When I hobbled on the suspension bridge, I astonished looked at the water under my feet hustled through the canny with clamor, fell and splashed to thousands of pearls.
Then they sped down and spread their body on their bed. When I wadded in the stream under the sunshine in the summer days, I still felt the temperature in winter.
I like the conifers of the valley. Lived with mosses, lichens, squirrels and woodpeckers and said nothing, they knew the stories over hundreds of years. Occupying their niches, they all lived in green and peace. While I hike in, I feel this habitat is also the living places of mine.
Words: 114
Every morning, I would be woken up by the sounds of birds; otherwise, the sunlight would penetrate the certain too. The smell of the beef soup drifted into my nose. I open the window; there were bicycles and motorcycles and cars shared the street with people. The palms were glistening after the rain. The hagglers were hawking to sell their fruits, fishes and baguettes—somehow left by French. The flowers were blossoming on my balcony with many colors. I dressed myself up, got ready for my trip in Hu Chi Ming City.
Every morning, I would be woken up by the sounds of birds; otherwise, the sunlight would penetrate the certain too. The smell of the beef soup drifted into my nose. I open the window; there were bicycles and motorcycles and cars shared the street with people. The palms were glistening after the rain. The hagglers were hawking to sell their fruits, fishes and baguettes—somehow left by French. The flowers were blossoming on my balcony with many colors. I dressed myself up, got ready for my trip in Hu Chi Ming City.
It was Thursday, and I was in the eye specialist’s office again, losing Writing 12’s class. The crowd of patients occupied all chairs. A thick air moved around me full of coughs and smells. My head felt thousands of kilos on it. Sounds, laughs, coughs, silence, all in one place, was a burden. A senior lady just arrived. I proposed my chair to her. I wanted to go to washroom, but nobody told me what time will be my turn. Ah! There we go! The nurse called me after one hour and half waiting. I can see a specialist at the end.
My Home Town
I had to breathe, but I did Not want to—I could not bear the dust, smoke, and gas fumes.
Was this my home town I had dreamed all the time in Vancouver? Was the place I had missed so much as if a salmon had missed its birth creek? A scene in the movies leaped into my mind—the end of the world!
It was—the river in front of my house had frozen since I came back. I had not seen trees with leaves, flowers, and grass on the ground—this season was made of gray and black.
-100 words
The clouds were high. The sky was as vast, and as blue as the ocean. I was under a tree and was lying on the grass. The breeze was fresh. It was like springtime. There were crickets and they were chirping. I looked up in heaven and saw different shapes. The clouds looked like rabbits or perhaps, they were dogs.I wasn't so sure about it, all of them had tails.
Time passed by. It was fast, as if the whole day happened in a just a minute. The moon showed up. It lit up the dark sky and showed me the way back home.
It is seven in the morning. It is rush hour.We are like sardines inside a can, the smell is almost the same as well. His shoulder is in my face. Her breast is pressing into my back. A bicycle is beside me and its wheel keeps on hitting my knee. My sweat starts to drip,almost all over my body, like a fish covered with sauce. It is very hot inside. The heater must be on. My station arrives, and thank God I am still alive-someone opened the can.
The girl swept Nina’s legs and threw her on the ground with a thud. Nina squirmed as her opponent tried to knock her on the cheekbone. Sand was all in her hair and her hair looked like a porcupine’s quills. She flung her opponent off her and staggered to her feet. As she rushed to sweep her challenger’s legs, she heard a bell jingled from behind them and her heart thumped. She turned around and saw their principle who frowned and pointed toward her office. As they follow the principle, Nina smelled a barbeque and wished she were there instead.
100 words
It looked nothing special from a normal stadium at secondary school, but when I was in it that day, I felt that I was in a Temple of God. This was first time in my whole life to exercise my civil rights to choose our nation’s leaders. The clerks welcomed everyone with smile that made me felt like at home. The people stood in the line with stillness waiting for a registration; I could hear a pin drop. When I stood behind the booth to start scanning the names on the candidates list, I felt that I was like a real boss of my country.
105 words
The sun set at the end of the trail, mixing and blending together with the cloud that turned into blossom petals of roses, layers and layers of them. Haze hovered on the surface of the grass, covering the trail ahead of us. “Look, the cloud is ahead of us, let us run into it, and it will take us into another place.” I reached out to hold my daughter’s hand. We are soaked into the cloud, and I took a deep breath to suck the fragrance of the grass, the mist and all those colors of the cloud into my lungs.
101 words
Early Morning at the Beach
To watch the view of sunrise I wake up early in the morning and go to the beach. I see how the world changes and is illuminated when sunlight fills the hills, trees and ground with colors. The sky changes into a blanket of orange, red and yellow. Birds are chirping in trees as they seem to greet the morning with melody. As I walk along the beach, I feel the texture and warmth like a mother embracing her child. The water is clear and calm and waves made a sound the silence seemed to crush to earth like a looking-glass shattered into a million pieces. The sunrays illuminate the drenched sand as a blanket embroidered with dewdrops like pearls and gems. The breeze rushed my face like two loved ones meeting after a long time and generates a current in my whole body. Aromas of cedar and pine trees came from everywhere and when the breeze blows the scent intensifies. The pine trees wave like women’s hair saying good bye to me.
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