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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
20 comments:
The badly out of tune piano sat in the parlour beside the worn out chenille curtains.
"Wow!" Tom said, turning to the old lady who had taken in him in for the night, "You must be rich and all to own a piano! And, real nice curtains, too."
Granny Parker smiled to herself and wondered just what she would do with this fair haired young man.
--66 words
This is my characterisic on naive, hope you like it:
When I entered the Douglas College for selection weekend two years ago, I was so proud of myself, and unbelievable because automatically thought ‘Yes! Finally I did it~~’ I tried my best, no perhaps, bestest I can be. A few weeks later, my friends got the letter from Douglas College, saying “Congratulations! You are in Douglas College.” After a few months, I was still hoping…hoping that I could be the one who got the same letter just like my friends, but it didn’t come true.
Words:85.
A Naïve Character
“What?” Casey’s father shouted, “You spent all your money on buying stock?”
“Don’t worry,” The young woman smiled, “I’ll be rich soon!”
“How? You don’t know anything about stock!”
“But my friend is an expert; he recommended some stock for me.” She explained, “He guaranteed I could gain 100% profits from my stock investment in one month!”
“Oh, no!” The father shook his head, sighed, and didn’t know what to say.
-71 words
true story about the stock,catherine... nice story~~^^*
The Naive Character:
“Ann, I have to remind you that Bank has a bad name with the girls.” Rose said carefully.
“The people say that just because of jealousy.” Ann curled her lip.
“But he used to go out with many girls.”
“It was just a sport to Bank before,but this time he is serious.”
“How do you know?”
“Bank said that I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“He used to say same thing to me.”
The wife sat by the dresser, looking at herself in the mirror while her husband read the newspaper lying in bed.
“I have used two bottles of this kind of superior lifting cream, but my skin is not as good as their ads,” said the wife. “The skin hasn't been lifted at all.” She added.
“Honey, you know why.” Her husband put the newspaper down and smiled at her, “ You are not able to resist gravity force.”
The thief
It was midnight. The thief tiptoed quickly to the front door of a luxury house. He stood , turned round suddenly, glanced surroundings. “Fabulous,” he muttered. “The precious things are waiting for me right now,” he thought with one hand touching a big sack on his back.
The door was opened easily by his knife. He stealthily stepped in. But after several minutes, he sighed irritatedly, got out of it and ran away.
The house was deserted except a big wooden placard with bold words “OPEN HOUSE FOR SALE”.
The Naive Character
Tom and his parents welcomed me at Lax airport, and he handed me an over weighted letter.
At home, we talked about lots of things--the travel and the lives.
"Open it, please", Tom said.
Talk continued. Tom couldn't wait anymore and writed "Open right now!" on the envelop.
I smiled and opened the letter. The note said:"Here are some maps of B.C., so you don't get lost. Please accept it as a gift.--with love,Tom"
Note: Tom is my grandson. He is seven.
hello, larry~~ so funny story, nice work...^^*
A mid-aged lady with a pink mini skirt looked in the mirror left then right after much guide’s persuasion.
“Wow!” the guide said in an exaggerated voice. “You look so attractive that every boy dies to date you!”
“Really?” she smiled with a kind of shyness on her puffy face. Without hesitation, she paid it, and never learned the compliment of a shrewd guide.
-63 words
The Moon is my Heart
It was midnight with a full moon glimmering in the sky. The water-filled basin was reflecting the moon, and it was like to be held in her hands. “Now I get my husband`s heart,” she muttered, recalling what he had told her about where his heart was.
“What are you doing? ” her husband said, looking curiously at the basin.
“Washing my hands,” she answered casually, fluttering the water to hide her panic.
-73 words
The naive Character
“Sweet heart, make a wish before you blow the candles. You are 20 now—a really big girl.” Lily’s mother happily announced.
“I want to marry Prince Harry or any boy like him.” Lily wished sincerely.
“Oh dear,” Lily’s mother was touched with the tears glistening in her eyes, “My little girl finally grows up.”
“Yeah, mom, I really hope so. Then I can eat black forest cake everyday.”
69 words
Another Native Character (just a joke)
A man fell in the river and almost drowned. A boat passed by and tired to save him.
He refused, said, “No, NO, God would come and save me!”
Five minutes later, a helicopter came and put their ladder down and tried to save me. He refused again and said, “No, I must wait until God come to save me.”
He finally drowned and went to the heaven as a sincere Christian. He asked god, “ I spent my life to trust you, why don't you save me?”
“You dummy,” God answered, “ I’ve sent a boat and a helicopter to save you, what else you want?”
Arash was working in his new garden in his new country. It was spring, and every thing was so young."oh!- the first neighbour came out from home to walk his dog. Arash looked at him friendly and happily. He left his garden work behind with a stretched hand for shaking. The blonde neighbour didn't even look at him,muttering-"go to hill blackhead!"- Arash freezed like a scarecrow, looking at his hand with a crash sound in his soul.
Naive" or "Politics"; Who know
During an interview with Mr. Li, a Chinese spokesman at Liberal party, the interviewer started, “everyone has friends, but some are just acquaintances. How is friendship like in your life?” “My life has been blessed with lots of friends; everyone I know is my friend.” The interviewer tried even harder, “have your ever been betrayed by your friends?” He smiled, “maybe my life has been fortunate, it never occurred to me.” There is pause.
74 words
It was a rainy Saturday morning.I just got off from work and I was waiting for the bus arrive-it was late,as usual- when two men, across the street, not too far from where i was standing kissed.It wasnt just a typical kiss,it was reallly passionate. Somehow,I felt like I was somewhere else,an unfamiliar place.It was so surreal . There i was watching two men with chisled-like muscles kissed each other, with their tounges moving like tangled snakes.I watched every movement of their body,under a pink umbrella, in a cold and wet Saturday morning-mouth agape.
"You should get a room," I blurted out.
My voice was Just loud enough,for the man standing beside me to hear what i said.
"I got nothing wrong with gay people, but THAT! freaks the hell out of me.Dont you think that they should get room?," I added.
I looked at the man next to me, and hoped to get his support and simply abide my remarks.
Then, he smiled at me and said,"I'm gay.and I don't think that they should be ashamed of what they're doing.Do you have a girlfriend? Do you kiss her in public? Do you give her a hug infront of other people? If you do, you should stop it and get a room."
"I'm sorry if I offended you"
"No,not at all."
"It's just...I thought..."
"You thought what? I am straight?"
"Yah"
"In this world that we live in right now,
you'll never know who's straight or gay."
"I'm sorry. I wasnt thinking"
"No problem"
His reaction made me think about my absurd remarks.
Everyone has the right to show love and affection
to whomever,whenever and wherever they want.Everyone has equal rights when it comes to love.
Few minutes later, the bus arived. Thank God, I was saved.
In an old apartment building, a person was found dead.The Landlady, found the deceased young woman-she was twenty two years old, as it was said in an ID found inside her wallet- covered with her own blood in her bedroom floor.The Police concluded that she committed suicide because of the cut on her left wrist and the knife on her right hand.Also, there was no sign of forced-entry,nothing was missing in her belongings.
"Where am I?"Layla asked.
Then, a voice of a woman,answered,"You're in heaven,my dear"
"Who are you?"
"I am God,the Creator"
We all think that God is Man because He is a King,at least Layla did.
"Your voice sounds like a woman's!You can't be God!God is a Man!"She shouted at heaven.
"I am both Man and Woman.I am the Spirit, the Earth, I am Everything."
Puzzled on what she heard,Layla immediately tried to changed the subject.
"why am I here?," Layla asked.
"You killed Yourself,didnt you?"
"Life is meaningless,every human being on earth is worst than a zombie.Zombies doesnt follow any rules.Yah! Zombies got not rules!Unlike Zombies, Men have to act in a certain manner just to be accepted by this so-called society,eventhough they really arent that kind of person.People spend each day prentending to be someone that they are not.They follow routines like a programmed machine.Necktie is a perfect example.People wear neckties without knowing the real reason why.They simply follow the rule:wear a tie to look formal,and that was it! Who the hell decided that wearing suit and tie is formal? Why cant we wear a t-shirt with an "I Heart New York" logo printed in it and be considered formal?
"So,did you kill yourself simply because of suits and neckties?"
"Are you really God?Of course that's not the only reason.People on earth kill each other everyday.Sooner or later someone would've come and kill me, so I thought I might do it myself.Nowadays, the price of food and fuel is more expensive than the price of a human life."
"So you think your life was meaningless and worthless?"
"Exactly! Did you hear the news about a man who killed his wife because she could'nt buy his food? How 'bout the eighteen year old boy who shot an eighty year old woman
just to get her pair of pearl earings? Did you know that I've never experienced love?"
"Yes my dear, I know all of that."
"Then Why are you doing nothing?You created us! You should help us and not make us suffer!You know what? You should apologize to us for making us stay on earth!"
In a blink of an eye,Layla returned to her old apartment.
But she wasnt alive. she could see everyone walking around her room,She could hear the conversations-the Police were asking the Landlady and neighbours some questions about her-and the sirens outside.There were also Photographers and Crime Scene Investigators.But,what caught her attention was the young lady lying on floor-wearing her favourite shirt- cold-blooded.
"What happened?Why are we here?" Layla asked.
"Look at yourself my daughter.You were very beautiful and healthy.Look at the people around you.Do you notice their familiar faces?They all cared for you;they loved you.
You were the one who was afraid to love and to be loved.You didnt want anyone to show you love and affection because you were afraid that one day,one way or another,someone has to leave.But, you must understand that noone loses anyone because noone owns anyone. Therefore, when they are gone the only thing that will remain is the love that was shared.Look at that guy in the blue uniform,do you remember him?He was your classmate when you were in high school and five years from now,he will save you from a thief.He has been in-love with you since the first time he saw you.That encounter would have awaken the courage that he needs to tell you what he really feels.That be your chance to build your own family."
"What are you talking about?You mean everything is pre-destined?"
"No my dear,you have the total control over your life. I only show you signs,choices and give you chances. It is up to you to decide.You my Love,sadly,chose to end your life."
There was Layla,looking around her apartment where she spent almost half of her life by herself,because her parents got divorced when was fourteen and started their new families.For the first time,she noticed everything that she used to have.A sense of regret and guilt rushed throughout her weigh-less body;she realized the wrong that she had done.But,it was already too late to go back,she thought to herself.
Layla wanted to cry,but tears wont come out from her eyes.
"I am ready to go to hell and repent for my sins" Layla subdued"
"There is no such thing,my dear.How could I burn my own daughter?I will never do harm unto you."
"So what's going to happen to me?"
"I will give you one last chance,you have to make a choice.Do you want to stay here in heaven ,or do you want to go back on earth and live?"
"I want to live!Please Mother,I am begging you,I want to live!"
Layla sunddenly felt electricity running on her flesh and bones.She opened up her eyes and saw circles of bright lights.She heard vague voices and footsteps that runs back and forth.Layla lost her life just to learn how to live,again.
The following day, at the mystery page of the newspaper-beside the astrology and zodiac signs- an unknown writer wrote a short column about Layla's story,tittled: "Layla's Conversation with a Strange God."
It was a sunny day. We were going for camping, and my five year old nephew was with us in our car. He tried to open his window, but my husband warned him, “The car is air conditioned.” He stopped, but he seemed be very upset. When we stopped our car to eat a snack, he changed cars. I knew he was upset, but I asked, “Why you don’t want to sit with us.?”
He said, “I don’t want to sit in uncle’s car because there is condition in the air.”
We all started laugh.
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