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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
14 comments:
Tissues were littered about the room. Each one was stained with yellow and green mucous. On some, traces of blood glowed red in the light coming in faintly through the shaded window. The room reeked of the sharp smell of urine, the stench overwhelming. In the corner lay a shape under a pile of old, dirty-gray sheets. —57 words; first draft
A Disgusting Place
This bus was a hell. Passengers kept sweating and complaining because the air condition didn’t work well. The little lavatory on the end of the bus let out the smell of urine frequently; many people had difficulty breathing. Suddenly, a lady began to throw up. Though she hold the yellow thickly puke by a plastic bag, some of them spattered in all directions. The pungent sour smell was killing everybody. Especially those people who sat around her―they tried to ignore the dirty mess on the floor but they couldn’t. They just felt that they were in the hell.
-98 words
Disgusting
# 41470
H.Guo
Bus 101 was on its way to 22nd street. The way was quiet, and the vista was pleasant, but in the bus it was very noisy.
A flock of young men sitting on the rear part were shouting, laughing, and singing vigorously. It seemed like that they were still continuing their party that already ended a half hour ago.
I turned around and saw that the other passengers were looking at back too. No matter how the others felt nauseated, they kept going on with the raucous behavior, as if there was no one else present.
Suddenly a roar came from the front—the driver yelled at those rascals angrily. And then the bus became silent and rolled on its way quietly.
Nauseous Night
My roommate wanted to defecate, but because of the lack of washroom indoor, he pooed on a plastic bag in our room. The stinky smell of it woke me up. As I tried to cover my head with my blanket, I felt wetness on my blanket and a smell of urine went directly through my nose. My bedmate had peed in bed because she didn’t want to go outside. Suddenly my other roommate slammed the door open and stepped in the poo. As she walked down the hallway to wash her feet, she barfed and I felt nauseous.
From Esther:
Den was filled with blood stained papers, and each one was thrown out to a garbage can. Few of them, marked with blood stains and smiley face on the top. The sun shine reflects blood through a shredded window. The den was filled with a sharp smell of rotten body's blood.
Words: 51.
Hi Everyone:
In our busy blog it is important to respect word count guidelines as closely as possible. Please revise and edit writing to closely follow limits. Good writing fits form!
The backstreet is another scene. The buildings along the street are old and shabby, and the walls are covered with painted graffiti and tattered posters. Due to the uneven road surface, yesterday’s rainwater mixed with other unknown dirty liquid still remains there, and they splash everywhere as one or two car pass. A big trash bin leans against the wall. Too much litter is placed so that the bin can’t bear, and some of trashes come out falling on the ground. The nasty smell of urine delivers from the corner of the street. Several addicts with their variety of ages squat together injecting the drugs on their arms.
She wore a stained jacket and grinned, opened her mouth with two incisors absent, and the balance teeth were black covered by a yellowish layer. Several meters away from her, two men were injecting themselves by sharing the same injector. The floor was viscous; the greenish liquids slowly moved into the drain. A mouse sneaked out from the garbage and disappeared. The whole alley was full of the smell of urines and marijuana. The crows were busy with the puke on the ground just spewed up by someone.
-88 words
It smells!
Twice a week, in Bogota, Colombia, the garbage truck goes to each house picking up the trash to throw it “away” where no one sees it. There is a place somewhere in there, where all this unwanted waste goes. This beautiful place is called “El botadero de doña Juana”; it is a bout 5 square Kilometers big, and has been conquered by all kind of human’s residues. You can find from cans, bottles, card board, used tissue paper, spoiled foods to death bodies, yet no human bodies, most of the time dogs, cats or gigantic rodents. People can’t live in the surroundings because they easily get sick. The putrid smell of all this junk is unbearable, it is like a really bitter, rancid odor that penetrates your nostrils and doesn’t let you talk. There is old and new garbage condensed, not only in the vast area, but is forming a mountain around ten meters tall. It is sweet home of thousands of monstrous rats and carrion crows. “botadero de Doña Juana” is the place where no one sees their garbage, and they got rid of it!
When in my childhood I went to the market place with my grandmother, I was horrified while we had to pass beside the butcher. Before I could see the butcher, I knew I was close; its nauseating bloody smell went around, and I couldn’t ignore it. There were the visible dead bodies of pinks, cows and bulls hung from the roof by their jaws; their blood dropped to the floor and wet through the gutters. Because the butcher spread water constantly, the floor was always dirty and watery. In the middle of the room was the butcher working in his white uniform and white boots with blood spots everywhere. His bloody hands held a huge knife or a small axe while working in his table cutting the bodies in pieces that were stored in the refrigerator. By walking through the market place during those shopping days, I had to notice the unpleasant butcher because it was always in my way.
A DDisgusting Setting, 2nd Draft
A girl opened the door for me; her pale face and bloody broken nose shocked me at the first sight. The room suddenly became very dark, and I started to realize it is a church basement. I tried to search for some natural lights, and luckily I find two narrow stain glass windows that are vaguely reflecting the sunlight behind. The ventilation system was obviously not working, for the air was stuffy and mixed together with the smell of stinky carpet. Few kids were crawling and picking up toys from the greenish carpet.
A Disgusting Setting
One day, When I was passing by Hestings street in Vancouver East , I was shocked by the scene that many shabby people queued up to enter the entrance of a building which of outside was litter everywhere. Those people were so skeletal with soiled face and hands. Some of them stared at me with wide-eyed while others stretched out their hands asking for money. Most of them breathe heavily, sweated on their face, and had running nose. A big placard of writing “ WELCOME TO INSITE ” were hanging above the entrance. Oh, I saw. Here was the famous free charge of safe injection site which the thoughtful city government prepared for the poor people who were addiction to drug.
I opened the front door; a sharp smell went through my nose and stuck in my brain. I wanted to vomit. I was scared about how I was going to disalarm the cash room, but I had to. I started walking. When I entered the hallway there was black muck all over the floor and was coming through the washroom. A red warning sigh was hanging on the washroom door the washroom was temporary out of service, so I ran out side and tried to find a place to vomit.
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