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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
LInks
Blog Archive
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2009
(73)
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May
(12)
- Things I Learned in Writing 12 (short essay)
- An Exercise in "Memory" (with eyes closed)
- What did You Collect?
- Help! I Need Somebody (Pieces for Comment)
- Why Don't You Forget?
- Imitating a Great Writer
- Hongxin's Piece, "Visiting Laoshan Mountain" Edited
- Something that Happened
- Makassia's Story, "Sunrise in Jala" Edited
- Fibonacci Poem
- Punctuation Practice (A Long Sentence)
- A Piece to Publish
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May
(12)
2 comments:
You’ve chosen a wonderful plot Makassia. I liked your description of the characters, too. It was not clear to me where the father was because he has an impact here. I agree that you need to work on the ending to make it more dramatic which can transform a person’s mind and behaviour.
yeah makassiam, this is a very interesting and exotic feeling for us to ready your story. i remember the first i read it in last term and i was attracted by your words and afircan style. you polished your story a lot and i do see it`s improved.
and BRAD, i found you have changed her original meanning in the first paragraph--the mothers holds the buckets and followed by their daughters who are also carrying the bit-smaller buckets.
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