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A place for Writing 12 students to read each other's writing, to critique, to suggest, to improve.
About Me
- Brad
- Former adult teacher who loves island beaches. Happy homebody and family man; once devoted dog owner, now without Tashi, my Tibetan Terrier. I prefer the absurdity of the imagination to the absurdity of imagining nothing.
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- Buzz Articles Published May 27
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7 comments:
From Haunted Castle to Public Museum
A haunted castle, believe it or not?
Unbelievable Phenomena
You may say, “ Seeing is Believing” ; however, people had seen various unbelievable phenomena, such as, a bride wearing white wedding dress, a man strolling around, even a candle moving along the beach by itself. All these phenomena appeared and disappeared around the area of the castle. Later, the psychics not only detected the weird events by a kind of special instrument, but they also tried to record as many spooky sounds as possible. Psychics said in their opinion they did. Anyway, don’t worry, the spirits have never hurt anybody so far. No matter what kind of clue they discovered, the haunted mansion, Hatley Castle, has never been a spooky place but a historic site and a popular museum now.
History of the Castle
The original owner, Mr. Dunsmuir, was a Scottish immigrant, Premier and Lieutenant Governor of BC. This extremely rich coal baron made his mansion and the surrounding a fascinating landscape, which included a magnificent castle, natural forests, beautiful gardens, and preserved wetlands. The magnificent four-flour mansion (228ft L x 80ft D x 82ft H), is located at Coolwood, Victoria, Vancouver Island. It was built with $1,000,000 expense between 1908 and 1910 in a 565-acre estate, where faced the Juan de Fuca Strait and glacier-capped Olympic Mountains. All the plants and animals have thrived on this property which has become a magical place.
Exterior of the Castle
In front of the castle, a lovely garden has been created diverse shapes with small plants. A few steps were constructed in the corridor between the garden and the castle to mount horses. The rhododendrons blossom in two strips beside either side of the corridor and along the front wall. The capacity of the balcony behind the castle is big enough for a party of hundreds of people. The colorful vines, burnt sienna, yellow ocher, emerald green, have clung on the castle wall. The atmosphere makes the monumental castle looks like a natural greenhouse.
Interior of the Castle
A specimen of caribou head is located above the center of the lobby. Two specimens of big horn goats are arranged on either side of the caribou. The decoration of the specimens indicates how Dunsmuir was an enthusiastic hunter. These specimens look like the guards in the castle. The floor is embedded with an extinct but aromatic wood, Red Gum Jarrah, which was imported from Australia. (The wood had suffered from beetles. The British cut them all down and tried to build ships, but it was too hard for ships.) The dining room with three long tables has bells for calling their servants. In one time, the forty-room castle had two hundred servants. Many fashionable devices, such as the splendid chandeliers, the big fire places, the electric furniture, the phaeton carriage were installed these interior of the castle shows how luxurious was the lifestyle the Dunsmuir family enjoyed.
Amazing Heritage Park
The ample living gardens grow various beautiful flowers that bring aroma to the park. The coniferous and deciduous forests give people the feelings of nature. The preserved wetlands attract hundreds of bird species. “chi, chi, cha, cha,------,”the birds chirps with the beautiful natural melodies, which soothe people’s auditory nerve, especially for those who are interested in bird watching. This bird paradise has created a lively atmosphere in the surroundings. The amazing landscape near the waterfront which makes the heritage a famous historic site.
True Stories
One of the Dunsmuir servants committed suicide because her bridegroom failed to appear at the altar. The strolling ghost was one of Dunsmuir’s two sons, who was killed in the war. The moving candle had been observed by one of the principals in the Royal Roads University. The tragedies and the weird happening had convinced people that it was a haunted castle.
Public Museum
Dunsmuir’s descendants sold their property to the government at an incredibly humble price of
$ 450,000. It is now the campus of the Royal Roads University and also a famous public museum. The spooky tale of haunted castle has become a legend.
Creative Impulse
(How I Write-second draft)
Unlike Hemingway, who managed to reach the creative stage of writing through discipline, I always need a creative impulse to catch the moment when I am fresh and brisk and able to write more effectively because writing in English is as demanding as a hard workout at the gym.
At this level of command of English, I am more of a subject writer, with a several preferable topics to write about. Every time I write I try to widen the subjects and the vocabulary and to move from informative writing to creative one, although it comes to me with a considerable difficulty. I know that exercising is not enough and that a genuine writer needs a talent. I might never reach a desirable level, but without even trying, it will definitely never happen. That is why I am willing to write as often as possible, catching the happy hours of productivity and creativity.
Like Hemingway (A Moveable Feast), to start writing I need notebook, two pencils, the pencil sharpener, a cup of fresh coffee and luck. Unfortunately, that is where similarities end. Anyway, being in creative mood, I start writing in a quiet place, without people and music around, putting down ideas on the paper. When I’m done, it is time to turn on the computer. With the help of this wonderful instrument, I edit, search for information and complete the first version, often thinking with admiration about writers of the past that left remarkable heritage without any computers available.
According to my teacher’s advice I keep a long rest before editing in order to have a fresh and “distant” view on the first draft. At this stage, I try my best to shorten the piece of writing, cutting the extra words and information, checking logic and grammar once more. Sometimes, after these efforts, I have the second draft that I can read without severe pain, but more often I am not completely satisfied with my work. In this case, I need more attempts. There is no limit to perfection, but there is a limit of time that helps to finish. Now I dare to ask for another opinion of what I have written from my teacher and classmates.
It is not easy to describe the process of creativity, but since I am not as creative as Hemingway, for me process of writing it is a happy moment when I am able to write something that others will be able to read without suffering much.
420 words, too many! I need help to shorten it.
Suzanne. I liked it but you spelled Colwood incorrectly.
Scott Road Station.
I'm at Scott Road Station, on my way to the ferry. I'm picking up my son today. It's 10am and the sun is already too hot. Opting for shade I head back from the posted bus schedule to the station entrance.
The stairs are littered with decade old gum. I lay my sweater down before I sit. A Muslim woman, wearing a multi-colored scarf and pushing a sleeping toddler asks me where she can find an elevator. She's shy and speaks too quietly for me to hear. Maybe I just wanted to hear the accent again. I give her directions and she walks away.
I open my book to read. Voices, slurred and loud draw my attention. Instinctively, I pull my bag closer. A young man, wearing a ripped green shirt and dirty jeans is approaching. A young girl follows closely behind. She's just as unkempt. Her hair is disheveled and matted. Her once pink dress stained multicolored. Something about them scares me. Both their heads roll from side to side, sometimes abruptly. The girl appears to be fairly far along in pregnancy. Her arms are scarred, bruised, and scabbed over. Heroine use I imagine.
They're fighting over a pipe. I want to cry. I want to take this girl by the shoulders and shake her. I want badly to speak to them about recovery. I say nothing. I can't watch or I'll go crazy. I walk over to the back of the bus shelter. A cheerful, boisterous woman walks by talking into her cell phone.
There is an upside-down Province newspaper on the bench. Thinking, I assume, she’s got herself a free paper, she behaves as though she’s won a prize. She flips the paper over and recoils like she's been zapped by electricity. What appears to be human feces is smeared all over the front of the paper. Gutsy, considerate, multi-tasker that she is, she grabs the paper, by one end, still talking into her cell phone, and deposits the paper into the bin. Thank God the bus is here. Scott Road Station. Not exactly Paris in the Spring time.
360 words. Revised from the original.
I suppose I should have tracked my changes because I took a lot out. Hope you like it better than the first one.
Although it's been published,
I've been rivising Dina's article, so I'd like to get feedback.
I add some subheadings and one paragraph; I also changed the quotations.
The All-Round Teacher: Dina
Have you noticed the variety of plants with their healthy leaves beside Room 4? For many years, Dina has taken care of them as carefully as she has her students’ progress.
Her teaching career
While she was a university student, Dina worked at a children’s camp as an art instructor. The experience in the summer camp had attracted her; after graduating from university, she began pursuing her career in the professional education at New Westminster School District, starting as a support staff in 1994.
After she had worked for SIGMA, Young Adult Program, for 6 years, she became a teacher at the PALC in 2003 and has been interested in helping the adult students. “They have experienced a real life and a hard work,” she said, “ besides, I like their sense of humor!”
During summer break, she teaches summer school in the high school. The intensive course requires a change in classroom management and is a major adjustment for her. Doesn’t she feel it’s difficult? “Just different—I enjoy teaching,” she responded.
Teaching Math at the lab
“Math knowledge helps everyday life,” Dina explained its benefits, “investing money in different term deposits, finding the area for home improvement or estimating the price of a roof or a carpet.”
In the lab, she helps the students solve their problems in Math. Her one-on-one instruction has encouraged the self-paced students at all levels. “Practice and understand the basic concepts of Math.” she suggested in order to improve, “but the best is to ask for help.” She said that the students try too much by themselves. “Come and ask the teachers for help,” she advised.
Her current lessons
This term, Dina has been teaching Social Studies 9 and 10 in the evening. As usual, her lessons start with a Brain Teaser, a visual puzzle. “Just have fun,” she said, “but the main purpose is everybody focuses at the same starting point.” She said her students look happy learning new vocabulary and thinking.
Her classroom, Room 2, is amusing. She decorates it with colourful tags and the review questions and answers about Canadian historical people—“Who am I?” The exercises and resources can enjoyably lead her students to remember the previous lessons. Before her class begins, she also prepares several work sheets for the students such as, a map, a crossword, a vocabulary quiz and scrambled questions. “I try to make the review interesting,” she said, smiling.
About Dina
Graduated in Psychology and Biology at Simon Fraser University. She holds Bachelor of Arts and a Certificate in Liberal Arts. Afterward, she attended the Professional Development Program for a year at the same university.
Movie: Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Books: Harry Potter Series
Pastime: Gardening
Hobby: Keeping tropical fish. (She has 3 aquariums.)
(460 words)
Sorry everyone again,
I'd like to revise one sentence in the 3rd paragraph, "she became a teacher at the PALC in 2003 and has been interested in helping..."
the revised sentense:
...and she has been inspired by the adult students.
I'm still looking for the better words, looking over the record of the interview.
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