How I Write: 300-Word Essay

This time, write 300 words on how the revising/writing process works for you; in other words, “how I write,” rather than “why I write.” Post your finished essays here. Give your revision number, identify your techniques. Good luck!

Edit of Stacey's second paragraph

Brad's edited third draft

Some Student Sentences from the Revision

Comment on what you like about the sentences I've chosen and make a suggestion for a revision to at least one of the examples. Build on today's exercise!

“I would write about anything; by “anything” I mean I would write about the color of a slug, what time of day it was.”—Stacey

“It is like a digging a hole inside of me in search of an answer. I knock, dig, and examine what I have found.”—Hiromi

“I was writing scenarios for the student plays and special events, articles for the student news paper, and epigrams on my friends and professors.”—Natalia

“I enjoy creative activities: painting, craft, and cooking. However I like writing the best.”—Rosaria

“As you know, most Chinese people are introverted; they are not good at speaking out their feelings.”—Catherine

“If I would have written those sparkling ideas and amazing stories that used to cross my mind, I would be richer than J.K.Rowling; however, a leopard never changes its spots.”—Larry

“Under the sea, I observe the creatures more thoughtfully than ever, thinking of how to write about them.”—Ritsuko

“The more I read and write, the more I feel satisfied with my life.”—Suzanne

Why I Write REVISIONS

Post the revised copy of your essay here. Read an annotated and clean version of my fourth draft. I've reduced length to 282 words, for a total saving of 40 words from the third draft and a total of 65 fewer than the second draft. That's 20% , Stephen King's recommended cut, but barely! Can you accomplish the same?

Be sure to comment after your revision on what you did to cut out the "fat" in your writing. You can send me an annotated copy of your revision if you wish to share your processes online.

Bring your new drafts on Thursday. Last class this term.

Why I Write

Post your finished essays here. I've gotten mine to third draft stage. Find the second draft in the comments section. Read an annotated version of Brad's second draft revision that includes a clean copy of the third draft at the end.

NOTE: Be sure to include your "Greek Techniques" at the end of your draft. Also, make an effort to have a spell, grammar checked, word-processed copy of your essay ready for Thursday's class. We will be doing extensive work on the essays. The more essays, the better!

For more information on the standard essay, see Jennifer's three-part series on the essay.


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"A Man Gets Off a Bus" Five Versions Exercise

Post your versions of one event:
A man gets off a bus, stumbles, looks around embarrassed and sees a woman, smiling at him. Post at least two different versions!

Read practical information about different points of view to help you get started.

Best Wishes

Hi, everyone: Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Brad's Edits: Latest Additions (January 8, 2007)

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NEW: Corrections to, "I Prefer," Catherine's List Poem
NEW: Corrections to, "Untitled," Larry's List Poem


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Corrections to "Choices," Ritsuko's List Poem
Corrections to "Possibilities," Helena's List Poem
Corrections to "Faith," May's List Poem
Edit of "Alone," May's Specific Vocabulary Story
Edit of "Casablanca," Helena's 13 Year Old
Edit of "A Wolf and a Little Girl," Choi's Specific Vocabulary Story
Edit of "A Custard Pudding," Ritsuko's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Swimmers," Catherine's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Note from Mathew C.," Hiromi's 13 Year Old
Edit of "Oh, Mary," Larry's 13 Year Old

List Poem: "I Prefer . . ."

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Following Szymborska's example, "Possibilities," post your very own list poem! Oh, and I prefer books over anything, so many thanks for the gift card . . .

Five Versions of One Event Exercise (REVISED)

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Post your versions of one event:
A man gets off a bus, stumbles, looks around embarrassed and sees a woman, smiling at him. Post at least two different versions!

Read practical information about different points of view to help you get started.

UPDATED: Trouble Logging In? Here's a SOLUTION

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Before you go to comments login by clicking on the Blogger "B." Be sure to click "remember me" so you won't need to login again.

You will have fewer problems if you download a copy of Firefox (browser).

Favorite Poem Project: Video Collection

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Fascinating videos of ordinary people explaining why they like a particular poem and then reading the poem aloud.
Favorite Poem Project Videos
(to see the videos, click on a title, then on the reader's picture)

Exercise Using a Specific Vocabulary

You must use the words in bold. Keep it short and try to make sense.

Colours: turquoise, green, pink, aquamarine, magenta, black, indigo, maroon

Place: Venice, Vancouver, New York, Deer Lake, Disney World, the seashore, Florida, Mexico

Breadbox sized object: spatula, ring, water bottle, book, a bomb, key, nail polish

Smell of: coffee, gasoline, curry, popcorn, money, bo body odour, milk, perfume, brownies, cookies, dirty socks

The sound of: trains, wind, mufflers, wolves, coyotes, people, motorcycles, clock

The taste of: cotton candy, chocolate, vanilla yogurt, Pringles, medicine, bile, blood, muffins

A nickname: honey bunny, sweetie pie, baby, buddy, devil, asshole, pumpkin (punkin), picky, dork, punk, dude

A fruit: papaya, watermelon, mango, pear, mandarin orange, peach, cherries, strawberries, blueberries, grapes

Something we wear: jeans, a ring, silk scarf, underwear, sweater, a tie, bowtie, eyeglasses, cosmetics, perfume, a tux

Something shiny: diamonds, a bald head, ice, hubcaps (car rims), eyes, a knife, stars, gold, salmon, teeth, sequins

An Exercise to Develop "Voice" in Writing

In order to develop a unique voice in your writing, write in the “voice” of an imagined character. Here’s an exercise to help you develop that voice in your writing. Post, also, the results of your exercise in using the voice of a 13 year old narrator (one page scene in the first person) from our class exercise.

Here's an edit of Catherine's example

Here's an edit of Hiromi's example

Here's an edit of Larry's example

“Think of a person that you've noticed, but don't know—a drugstore clerk, a bus driver, a politician, a celebrity. Using the first-person, write a two-page scene that describes a moment in the life that you imagine for that person. What is he/she thinking about? What matters to him/her? What doesn't? How does his/her mind work?”—Ali Smith; short story writer from England

Reader Comments for Brad's Story, "The Bike"

Something I wrote six years ago in an English 10 class. Uses the story, "The Trout" as a jumping off point.

"The Bike"

Reader Comments for Larry's Story, "Einstein"

Put your comments here for the story. You can use either reader-based or criterion-based (or both) as a guide. A copy of the story is available as the first comment.

Reader Comments for James' Story, "The Corner"

Put your comments here for the story. You can use either reader-based or criterion-based (or both) as a guide. A copy of the story is available as the first comment.

Reader Comments for Catherine's Story, "Dreamers"

Catherine posted a revision of her story last week, but because it hasn't a special "post" spot for comments, it seems to have been forgotten. I post a copy here in the first comment spot for you to see and comment on.

Reader Comments for Hiromi's story, "Her Own Two Feet"

Comments here:

Read an edit of the story by Brad in Word format, showing editing changes and commenting on strengths and weaknesses in the writing.

Reader Comments for "Cute Sonya"

Leave your comments here for Choi's story.

Reader Comments for "Once Upon a Time" (NEW DRAFT)

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Stacey's posted a new draft of her story with an ending as of last night. I moved it here so everyone finds it easily. Click on "Comments" to read it.

NEW: Brad's edit with suggestions.